Tag Archives: fat

I Am A Coke Bottle

18 Jul

I am a coke bottle.

Yup, you read that right. However, do you understand what I mean by it? Probably not…but no worries cause I wouldn’t know what it meant if someone said that to me and I hadn’t been to film school, lol.

Ok, anyone who is in the entertainment industry is a product, products are there to be sold. I should amend that, some of the people in the entertainment industry are there to do the buying and selling of the products (the actors, musicians, writers etc). When one of my teachers told my class to think of ourselves like Coke Bottles and it was up to us and our agents to “sell” us to casting directors and others within the industry it made me really think about what I was getting myself in to. It didn’t disuade me from continuing on my journey towards being a paid actor though cause really, that is all I want to do so if that is how the industry perceives actors, well, that’s fine with me. 🙂

There are lots of things to think about when you start thinking of yourself as a product and not a person – there are things I can’t do to myself without some serious thinking because the changes I make to myself will affect agents wanting me and affect what auditions I can be sent out for. shrug. Soooooo what does this mean? It means that even though I really really really want to get my nose pierced with a little silver hoop and get my upper left ear pierced with a bar that connects two different sections of my ear lobe I will do neither, cause I have a face that can be quite commercial/girl next door if I tone down my makeup but that will be lost if I am covered in piercings.

Also, because my hair has to match what I look like in my headshots once my pictures were taken I became fully committed to keeping this haircut cause I can’t afford new headshots. That is ok though cause I like my haircut…or I did.

I had my first encounter with changing my appearance in a way I didn’t want to but that was suggested (in a very firm, I can’t actually say no to the suggestion kind of way) when I had my first meeting with IQ, the acting coach who is going to film my demo reel. Now you might be thinking, why change your appearance because one person said to, simple, she is crazy good at what she does and not making the change she suggested (in that very firm tone) would be the same as being told by a lawyer “don’t talk!” but you go blathering away when the detective questions you – why would you not take the advice of someone who knows more then you and is only trying to help you?

So, my hair has been changed. I spoke to IQ about my concern about changing my hair since I can’t afford new headshots and she said I won’t need new headshots, at least not for agent hunting, because they will have the demo reel to watch and will see me there with the new look but the new look isn’t soooo drastically different from what they will see in the headshots. It made more sense when she said it to me lol.

I changed my hair in the way IQ suggested…and I don’t like it! ugh. I was fairly certain I wouldn’t, what she wanted done is so not my style but others think it looks good so I’m thinking maybe it looks good but my own prejudice against this particular hairstyle is making me more critical of it then normal. Oh, I should probably say what got done huh? I now have sidesweeping bangs…sigh. I hate bangs!

The reason IQ wanted me to get them is because she wanted to “soften my look”, especially around the eyes. I (according to her) have a dominant forehead and large eyes, uh, duh! lol. This I already knew, shrug. So she wanted the sidesweeping bangs to soften my eye area and make my forhead less dominant. sigh. I would have been more comfie if she asked me to chop all my hair off, or get a piercing, or pretty much anything else but noooooo, she had to ask me to get bangs. *rolls eyes*

They totally change the shape of my face in a way I don’t like, my face looks fatter now! Fatter! I spend all this time losing weight and am working to lose the rest of it and what happens?? I get a stupid hair cut that makes my face look fatter, so Not cool! This whole softening (aka fattening) the look of my face had better work!

Since the haircut on Saturday I have been hiding out in my apartment but I had dragon boating tonight so what could I do but go out in public? I figured I might as well just get everything over with so I hiked this afternoon, came home, showered, ate, then went dragon boating. So now lots of people have seen me with these bangs – since I wasn’t pointed at or openly laughed at I can only assume I don’t look as ridiculous as I think I do, *rolls eyes* no real guarantee about that tho 😛

My first time having to change my look because someone else said so, I went through with it, and am even dealing with the change in a slowly decreasingly bitter way lol, looks like I am ok with being a product! 😀

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Slightly Distracted

12 Jul

I was all ready to start writing a post yesterday when my roomie came in to the living room, sat down and told me she is moving out. sigh.

When I asked her why – in a whiny complainy type of voice, she said she can’t afford rent anymore so she has to leave. She is from AB and has no family here, same as me, so where I wondered (out loud and to her face) is she going to go that is even less expensive rent wise then where we are? Turns out she has a friend from school who has rich parents, the parents are going on a 2 month long trip so my roomie’s friend is going to move in to the main part of the house and my roomie is going to move in to the fully furnished rental suite her friend has been living in…rent free! Nice, huh?

I wish I had a friend who had rich parents and were ok with letting me freeload for a couple months…altho what she will do when they come back from their trip is beyond me, shrug.

So now I have to start two searches, the first is for a new roommate the second is for an apartment I can afford on my own (highly unlikely) in case I can’t find a new roommate. Arg. Annoying!

As soon as she left the living room I paused my movie (I was in the process of a Harry Potter marathon in preperation for the new and last movie in the series being released this week 😀 ) and posted an ad to Facebook Marketplace for a roommate and then I proceeded to search the FB Marketplace for apartments for rent, I also started searching craigslist and kijiji, always fun *rolls eyes*

Oh how I wish I could afford to live on my own so that I don’t go through this every frickin time a roommate moves out, double sigh.

I am proud to say though that this wonderous added stress to my life has not affected my eating at all, I didn’t splurge on high calorie food after she told me this and I have obeyed my points today. Yah! I didn’t get to exercise today, cause I had to be up and out earlier then normal and by the time I got home it was almost 8pm and I’d only eaten 8 points by that point so no way in hell was I going hiking when I was soooooo hungry and by the time I was done eating it was dark and I can’t walk the path when it’s dark cause the moonlight doesn’t get through to the path so I can’t see where I am going…and frankly, it belongs more to the coyotes once the sun has gone down then to us silly 2 legged creatures. lol. and wow that was a really long run on sentence, eesh. Everyone take a breath now. lol. 🙂

So now it is almost 10pm and I still have 4.5 points left, I love when that happens! I am gonna make toast and put nutella on it, Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!, that will use 2 points so after that I will probably eat some fruit, hmm, now that I think about it I will for sure eat some fruit, I have cherries and a couple peaches so I have the yummy fruit not the boring stuff. 😛

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A Weekend of Firsts

10 Jul

I had so many ‘firsts’ happen this weekend it’s a bit odd, I mean, usually one new thing a weekend is expected and enjoyed, but more then one? Crazed! They were all my doing mind you, I chose to try these new things and luckily enjoyed every experience but why I crammed them all in to one weekend is beyond me. I figure I’ll start at the beginning of my weekend and walk you through the firsts. 🙂

So, the first first was my making and then eating a Mushroom Omlette. Now, this might not seem like any kind of big deal to any of you but I have never made an omlette, in fact, I don’t even like them. lol. So why did I make one? Cause my mom had told me how my oldest nephew had been at her and my dad’s place and asked for a mushroom omlette for a snack (the kid is a bottomless pit and just keeps eating and eating lol), anyways, that was one of the things he wanted that day and I kept thinking how I’m pretty sure at the age of 10 I never would have asked for that, not even cause I didn’t like omlettles but cause I’d be more inclined to ask for toast or something. But because of that convo I kept having mushroom omlettes floating in my head so I decided to make one…well, lemme tell you, it was so not pretty! I’m not even sure it can be called an omlette cause it didn’t fold over properly or look at all like an omlette…it was more of an egg/mushroom/cheese jumble. A very tasty jumble but a jumble none-the-less.

My second first was later that day when I was doing errands, this one isn’t really all that entertaining, I was buying makeup that is for a “natural fresh faced look”, that is soooo not my normal look, lol, I usually wear black eyeliner, dark jewel tones for eyeshadow that are then covered with black to make them smoky, combine that with my uber pale skin and my eyes pop. I wouldn’t say I am goth or punk or alternative or emo, I am just me, and I take a little bit from all those types and others to create how I look, shrug, but for my demo reel I need 3 distinct looks for the 3 different scenes and characters I will be playing and none of those looks are my normal one. Sooooo, off to the cosmetic counter I went…well, actually first I went to youtube and watched tutorials about how to create these looks and wrote a list of what I will need, lol, then I hit up the cosmetic counter. 🙂

Then I went to Tim Horton’s and got the Mixed Berry Fruit Smoothie with Yogurt, I had heard it was good and usually I love what I get from Timmy’s but omg that smoothie was soooooo bad! ugh! ick! gack! It had the worst after taste evah! I wasn’t even able to finish it I disliked it that much, I drank a little under half of it (I made sure to confirm this before I threw out the left overs so I’d know how many points to count for it lol). sigh. I had so been hoping for a new summer fruity slushy drink but ah well, least I will be saving points lol.

Then today I put the battery I bought yesterday in to my scale and weighed myself for the first time in a month! I wasn’t looking forward to this first cause I was worried I may have screwed up big time and gone up Up UP! Well, despite not having a working scale and therefore not being able to monitor my weight for the past month I managed to not screw up…too badly. lol. I went down in weight but not by all that much, so Yah that I went down but uh, a whole month and I only lost like a pound…durn! Something has gone very very wrong over here…I mean, sure I have days I eat more then what I should or don’t exercise or whatever, but how did I go a month and only lose 1 pound??? I’d like to say this has spurred me on to being even more dedicated to my weight loss but honestly it has just managed to confuse me and since I didn’t think I was cheating that much or being lazy that often I’m not really sure what to do. *confused face* Maybe up the intensity of my exercise? I dunno…if I figure it out I’ll let you know!

Here is my most impressive first for this weekend, I made (as in from scratch, hand made) a chicken burger! Oooooh yeah. 🙂 Here’s the thing, I don’t handle raw meat, ever! I don’t like it, it freaks me out, it’s icky. When I cook meat it is frozen, and I kinda drop it from the package on to the cooking aperatus and then I scrub my hands clean just in case I came in to contact with the meat…I do the same with fish as well in case you were wondering. So why did I decide to make a burger from scratch? Cause I am a product of my generation and easily swayed and convinced to do or try things based on ads on tv lol. I am not even joking! I keep seeing this ad on tv about this mom who has ten minutes, two hungry kids and a pound of ground beef so she combines the beef and some ranch powder mix (the kind you mix with, well, I don’t know what you mix the powder with but when you do you have ranch dip for veggies n stuff) and boom, she has 4 ranch hamburgers. Well, if she can do it  I can do it and I swear I see that ad like 15 times a day…it really made me want to try making a hamburger on my own, with ranch powder mix lol.

So, I went grocery shopping on saturday and had to call my mom from the store cause like I know what else I am supposed to put with the meat and ranch powder to make it become a burger? lol. The amount of times I call my mom from the grocery store, oy! While shopping I found ground extra lean chicken and decided to use chicken instead of beef cause it’s a healthier meat and I think I need to ease in to the touching of meat…somehow I thought chicken would be less icky even though when it’s in the package all ground like that it looks like worms, I kept waiting for it to start moving, ugh, how in the world people ever got past the look of raw ground chicken and started cooking with it is beyond me. 😛

Luckily, I barely had to touch it, phew! I dumped it from the package into the bowl and used a wooden spoon to mix all the ingredients together, I only touched it when taking a half cup of the mix from the bowl to put it in the pan, and then I of course used super hot water and lots of soap and scrubbed my hands. Raw meat *shudder*.

My burger patty had the chicken, the ranch powder, bbq sauce, diced onion and 1 egg in case you were wondering. It was tasty. I started coughing at one point cause I accidentally inhaled some of the powder when mixing lol but other then that the whole process went fairly smoothly. There was enough burger mixture to make 3 patties (1/2 Cup mix each) and a bit left over that I put in the fridge and will brown tomorrow. I have frozen two patties for use another time and well, I ate the third, duh. lol. This might just be a cheaper way to get burgers…I’ll hafta price it out. Usually I buy a box of frozen burger patties for anywhere between $12-$16 a box, I think there are usually 8-10 patties in the box and those patties are the same amount of points as mine turned out to be (4 points) but mine were ranch bbq flavour (so made for my personal taste lol) and fairly cheap to make, the meat was $4 for almost a pound, I already own the bbq sauce and the ranch package was under $2 (that’s with tax), so, almost $6 for 3.5 patties, I could make it 4 patties if I am more careful with how I divide the mixture…anybody out there good at math? Is it better for me to make my own or buy them? My brain isn’t good at figuring out stuff like that… 😛

There we go, my list of first experiences that I had this weekend…most involved food, *rolls eyes* but oh well, least it was healthy, fit-in-my-points food not going out to restaurants and eating crazy-bad-for-me food. 🙂 Little steps people! Little steps. 😀

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Timing Is Everything

8 Jul

So yesterday I woke up late (as usual lol), got dressed for hiking, had a quick wash, and got myself a bowl of cereal. When I go hiking I always eat a half an hour before I go and drink a glass of water so that I have enough energy to make my way through the hike and am decently hydrated. Well, right towards the end of my half hour wait (digesting time cause no one wants to cramp up while hiking) I opened the door to get an idea of the weather (to know what thickness of sweater to wear) and it started to rain…not a little drizzle but like all the clouds in the world opened up all at once right above my place of residence. Great timing huh?

I couldn’t believe it! If I had not slept in and gotten up at a more “normal” time I would have already hiked and this rain storm wouldn’t have affected me at all but noooooo, I hadda sleep in, and now what? How was I s’posed to go for my hike when the trail was right at that moment being turned in to red mud?

Well, since there was nothing I could really do about it, oddly enough I don’t have control over weather patterns 😉 , I decided I might as well do something useful so I started organizing my new desk. I hadn’t gotten around to putting anything in the drawers yet so I dragged the boxes and bags that were holding all the stuff from my old desk out of my closet and began the boring task of figuring out what was going to go where with the new desk. Uh, by new I should point out it’s actually quite old, an antique that I bought from a friend…it’s got a roll top an everything! It’s so cool! 😀 I used to hate all antique furniture, and most of it I still do, it’s just not my style, but for some reason I love this desk…I love it a little less since it gave me a massive splinter right above my thumb nail/cuticle area that I can’t get out and the area is getting redder and more scary looking with each passing day but whatever, hopefully my body will fix itself soon (it hurts and is annoying). 😛

By the time I got the desk all set up it was hours later, I dawdle a lot when I am cleaning/organizing etc cause frankly, I just don’t find it fun. shrug. Anyways, when I was finally finished I was hungry so I made some pasta and sat down to watch tv while eating. Yeah, I know I am not supposed to watch tv or read or do anything while eating cause I’ll eat faster and not be as aware of what I am eating and blah blah blah but you know what? That’s a load of…well, I’ll let you fill in the word lol. I only make one portion, not like I can go back for seconds and mindlessly eat while watching tv, and what else am I supposed to do while eating dinner, alone. Sit at the table and stare at the wall? I’m pretty sure that’d make me eat faster lol.

While I was eating I realized it had stopped raining at some point and the sun had sorta come out. I was totally wanting to eat some chocolate and some bread and the only way I was gonna get to do that was if I earned some exercise points so I figured I might as well try the trail, if it was way too muddy I’d probably realize it early enough to turn back, maybe…couldn’t hurt to try, right?

Turned out the trail wasn’t too bad, some areas were really muddy but I just went through those areas quicker then normal (so as to avoid my feet sinking) and it was fine, yah! Thanks to that hike I got to have some honey and nutella on toast, sooooo yummy! 😀

It’s funny how timing can affect your whole day, I don’t know if I would have organized my desk if not for the rain cause even though I knew it had to get done I kept putting it off, but in the end the rain was a good thing cause I got my desk sorted, got to hike, got to eat nutella and honey on bread, and since I hiked so much later in the day then normal the fatigue I felt from exercising I channelled in to sleep time instead of trying to over come it with food and liquid to finish out the rest of the day so I also ended up eating NO exercise points, wOOt! wOOt!

Oh, and I also learned that if I go hiking when it has rained a couple hours earlier there are fewer bugs out and about cause they are, well, to be honest I don’t know what they are doing, hiding out in their little bug homes maybe? Having a cup of tea in their little kitchen with friends while waiting for the world to dry out and not be such a menace to their delicate wings? Perhaps taking a nap? Whatever they were doing it kept them away from me and for that I am glad. 🙂

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Oh Dessert Breadsticks, How You Taunt Me

6 Jul

Alright, so guess what yesterday was? It was I-am-pmsing-and-want-to-eat-everything-in-sight day. lol. Seriously, everything! Oh, and whatever I smelled I wanted too! *rolls eyes*

I was meeting up with a friend downtown and I swore to myself before I went that I would not cave, I would not eat a jappa jog, I would not have chocolate, I would.NOT.cave! Get this…I actually managed to not cave – a-frickin-mazing! 😀 I let myself have a small frozen yogurt (worth 2 points) but that was a planned indulgence so I don’t feel bad about that.

However, sigh, on my way home all I could think about was pastry – most specifically the desert breadsticks from Panago, they were all I could think of, all I wanted, I felt like I was gonna go crazy if I didn’t get some so I caved and called Panago, well, no way was I gonna pay extra for delivery so I said I would pick up the order and I was told pick up ends at 10pm and it was 10:15pm so I could only get them via delivery. I took it as a sign the universe didn’t want me spending money, money I can’t really afford to spend anyways so I went home. You’d think that’d solve everything but it so didn’t…I ended up eating 8 Junior Mints (tho they had melted so some of them were just the chocolate shell no minty stuff inside lol), 1 serving of Maltesers, 4 cookies oh, and 2 pieces of toast (the heels of the loaf though and I always feel those should count as slightly less points since they are smaller…altho my bread is only 1 point for 2 slices anyways so I can’t really complain lol), the toast had margarine, raspberry jam and cheese slices on it…weird, I know! I ate all of that cause I couldn’t get the breadsticks so nothing I ate soothed the craving, sigh, annoying.

After a great low points day, and really, I’ve been doing well for a lot of days in a row now, I totally threw it away and ate who knows how many points – but ya know what? It happens. I’m a girl. Deal. 😉 Thankfully it doesn’t happen every month, how bad would that be? Ack! I’d say it’s only like every 3 months or so that my hormones go crazed like that so that’s ok, I can handle that. 🙂

I gotta say though, I still want those dessert breadsticks, *rolls eyes*…maybe I should learn to make my own, hmm, that’s a thought…

Today I ate:

1 pear = 1 point

1 peach = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1 Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich = 2 points

85 grams whole wheat spaghetti pasta = 5 points

1/4 C 4 Cheese alfredo sauce = 2 points

mixed cooked veggies = 0 points

Total points eaten = 13

I have lots left yet for the day and not sure how I am going to use them…I’m thinking something that has to do with cheese…apparently that is what I am craving today lol.

On a non food related note, I had a great meeting with the acting coach who is going to film my demo reel, we went over scenes, picked out three, did some reads, she gave me some ideas/coaching, we went over wardrobe for the scenes, stuff like that, it was so so so awesome! Now all I have to do is memorize my three scenes and contact her when I am ready for filming, eeeeeeek! I am so psyched! 😀

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My Petrified Rock Dessert

2 Jul

I was given a recipe from my mom to make Chocolate Cake in a Mug, it’s a one serving dessert for that day you really want cake. Sounds great right? It’s a stupid easy recipe and if you’re a baker you most likely have all the ingredients on hand so the other day I decided to give it a try.

Well, let’s just say it was better in theory then in reality. lol. I killed the poor cake, killed it to the point that my spoon couldn’t even make a dent and it became the closest possible thing to petrified rock that could be ever found in a kitchen. *rolls eyes* You’re supposed to microwave for 5 minutes, well, for my microwave that is obviously toooooooo long!

I can’t think of the last time I messed up on a baking project, I just don’t screw up when baking (yes, I’m aware that sounds conceited lol) but this simple little recipe kicked my butt. I put it down to the microwave, I think it would’ve been fine if I’d microwaved it for way less time but once I saw the result I decided I wasn’t up to trying to make it again quite so soon so the Chocolate Cake in a Mug has been shelved for now.

Oh! And you should have seen my mug! I had to soak it in boiling hot water for hours, and then soak it all over again with fresh hot water, then scrub it like crazy, I really thought I’d managed to make the mug unusable which would’ve been disasterous cause the mug was one of my cute Eeyore mugs from England. Can’t ruin those!

Today was supposed to be weigh in day, I haven’t had a weigh in day in almost a month! I know! I’ve already given myself the lecture! lol. I weighed myself before going to AB, but not while in AB cause every scale weighs different so I figured I’d just wait till I got back here but then weekend after weekend I haven’t weighed in for various reasons. Eeek! So even though I am terrified to step on the scale I realized I really have to get on the damn thing today and find out how I’m doing…I am fairly certain I have gained, I’ve felt heavier in my tummy area for a little while now, ugh.

So, I psych myself up, step on the scale and…nothing. Nothing! The stupid battery died! Can you believe it?!?! And of course it doesn’t use a normal battery, took forever but I finally managed to pry the area where the battery lives open and it uses some round flat silver looking battery, yeah, I soooooo don’t have one of those in my place. *rolls eyes* I’m super uber strict budget girl right now and couldn’t justify driving to the store just to buy a battery, a specialty battery that is probably stupidly expensive, sigh, so no weigh in this weekend…I have a job interview Monday and a consultation on Wednesday about my Demo Reel so hopefully this week something positive will happen and I’ll start earning money again, then I will buy the battery and find out where I am weigh in wise…hopefully I’ve not messed up too badly, I don’t think I have cause my clothes still fit (meaning the newish ones I have are too large but still wearable and my older clothes are all ridiculously huge on me lol).

One day I will be at my goal weight and all my clothes will fit properly…I really can’t imagine how that will be but when it happens I’ll let ya know! 😀

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The Panoptican and You

30 Jun

The Panoptican Theory is my favourite sociology theory, and my favourite Sociologist taught me about the implications of the Panoptican Theory in his published work from 1975 Discipline & Punish: The Birth of the Prison, oh, the sociologist is Michel Foucault. It wasn’t the book that introduced me to this theory, it was one of my many sociology profs at the University of Alberta – after learning what the class text book taught me I read Michel’s work to get a better understanding of it. In sociology I focused on crime, punishment and how these affect and are affected by society – mostly I focused on the criminal as I found that the most interesting. 😀

Before I go off on a tangent about something sociology related that you won’t care about let me tell you how I think the Panoptican Theory applies to dieters. 🙂

Oh, maybe I should give you a cliff’s notes version of the Panoptican Theory in case you haven’t heard of it, I’m thinking there’s a good chance you haven’t heard of it, unless you also studied sociology?

K, The Panoptican Theory: basically, it says that a person will self-regulate their behaviour if they are under 24/7 surverillance or at least think they are under 24/7 surveillance. Prisons were built based on this theory (not all of them obviously lol) but those prisons have a centrally located guard station that can see in to all the prisoner’s cells at all times, the guard station is designed so the prisoners can’t see the guards but the guards can always see the prisoners. By creating a scenario where the prisoner knows he may be monitored at all times he will adjust his behaviour accordingly.

This is a very basic understanding of the theory and doesn’t go in to the “whys” of it but it’s all you really need to know to be able to follow my new theory. 🙂

When people are dieting they either tell everyone or no one. I, when I started, told no one because I didn’t want people to know when I cheated (I was absolutely sure I was going to cheat) and I didn’t want people judging me when that happened. I eventually started telling specific people so I would have a support system of sorts and now everyone who knows me knows I am following weight watchers, lol. Quite possibly the worst kept secret ever! 😛

When I was around people who knew I was trying to lose weight I never cheated, I was able to resist all kinds of goodies and treats partly because I knew they would slow down my weight loss and partly because I was being watched. My confidants had become the guards and I was the prisoner – not that I felt imprisoned, or even really realized this at the time but I’m trying to make sure the correlation to the theory makes sense to everyone. 🙂

Last week my roomie was out of town, we almost never eat at the same time or even in front of each other, our timing just doesn’t work out that way. I have never consciously felt restricted about what or when I can eat by her being around somewhere in the apartment because we do not comment on each others foods. Same goes for exercise, she doesn’t have some little notebook somewhere keeping track of when I go for hikes or go to boxerfit or have a dragon boating session just like I don’t keep track of when/where/what kind of exercise she does.

But, when she was out of town last week I stopped exercising and started eating worse then normal. I ate out more then normal, I pigged out on things, ate flex points like they were going out of style…I even stood in the kitchen at one point while waiting for the kettle to boil and ate a spoonful of Nutella out of the jar – holy crap that was goooood! Would I have done that if I thought RN might come down the hallway at any moment and see me performing this insanely bad for me act? hmmm, to be honest, I might have but I wouldn’t have taken so long to indulge (I really drew out the moment) and no way would there of been as much Nutella on the spoon as there was that evening lol.

I came to the realization when she returned from her trip that she unknowingly acts as my Food Guard. I don’t fear punishment from her if I eat poorly, unlike the prisoners who worried they’d be punished by the guards if they did something they weren’t supposed to while in their cells but it seems that doesn’t matter, shrug. Just by knowing she may walk in the door or come down the hall I have more control over my food cravings and am more inclined to go exercise because I don’t want her to think (1) she’s living with a lazy butt who never gets off the couch (2) all I ever eat is junk food and (3) I can’t stick to a healthy living plan if my life depended on it.

Upon further thought I am sure that she wouldn’t think any of the above, and there are plenty of days when she’s not around when I leave for my exercising or when I get back so she has no idea I even did exercise but again, doesn’t seem to matter.

This made me think, do people who live in a household larger then mine, that is full of people (probably relatives) who probably would comment if they cheated on their food plan or stopped exercising have lower rates of cheating? Do they manage to exercise more often then those who will have no recriminations from anyone if they just don’t go? Or do they still cheat as much but are more subtle about it? Perhaps when making dinner they slip themselves snacks when no one else is in the kitchen, or maybe they sneak in some junk food once the kids and spouse are in bed? That archetypal image used in movies and tv where someone is in their nightclothes stuffing themselves with left over cake while standing in front of the fridge must come from somewhere, right?

So maybe all people are eventually going to cheat on their food plan, or maybe certain personalities are more prone to cheating, maybe our society created the situation? There are so many reasons for why people cheat on their diet (healthy eating plan, whatever!) and so many reasons why we don’t cheat.

Apparently I cheat less when my roomie is around, not in the apartment necessarily, but in the city at least so I know that there is a chance I may be caught gorging on cookies – just the possibilty I will be seen stops the behaviour, it’s not a permanent cure (as I discovered when she was gone, lol) but a situational cure…sorta like how the Panoptican style prison is a situational form of punishment and doesn’t work once the prisoner is released and realizes they are not under constant scrutiny.

Who would have ever thought Foucault would be relevant not only in an academic sense but also in a everyday kinda way…I knew there was a reason he was my fave! 😀

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What Happened There?

27 Jun

So I don’t know what happened but the entry I wrote on Saturday didn’t get posted, it stayed as Draft even though I clicked the Publish button. hmmm. Don’t know why that happened but nothing I can really do about it now – except for Publish it now, which I have done. shrug. 😛

Today was the first week back to Dragon Boating, well, technically the first week of the new training sessions was last week but I was in AB and KL was working so we both resumed our training this week. It was so much fun but way harder then our first chunk of training. This team is a lot more serious, it’s still fun but it’s not a “fun league” it’s a team that wants to win at the next festival which means lots of hard work has to get done. We focused mostly on technique tonight and a bit on timing. What I noticed was the most different was in our old team’s training we’d paddle for a short distance while the coach watched us then she’d stop and talk for a bit about technique, timing, tips, stuff like that – there was more resting and we paddled for shorter distances. Which kinda set us up for harshness at the festival since we weren’t used to paddling the full 500km but oh well.

So tonight, we’d paddle and the coach would yell tips to us instead of stopping and talking to us and as a result we’d paddle for way longer distances – which I know is good cause we need to get used to the distance and build our muscles but man oh man was it harder then what I was used to. lol. I am pretty certain I will be feeling the exertion of today tomorrow! 😀  <— how sick is it that I smile big at the thought that tomorrow I will feel muscle pain?? lol.

KL and I went out for sushi after boating to play catch up since first I was out of town and then she was out of town and it’s weird for us to go 2 weeks without seeing each other. I didn’t really bother with trying to pick uber healthy stuff, I just wanted to enjoy myself but I don’t think I did too too badly. 🙂 Before I went out I had my regular Special K and two pieces of toast, I didn’t get to have my fruit cause I ran out, oops. lol.

The sushi, let’s see, I got this eggplant appetizer that I thought didn’t sound too unhealthy, well, when it came out it turned out it was battered and fried so any health benefits from the eggplant or mushrooms that were in it were gone, lol. It was tasty but not so tasty I will order it again so that’s good. Oh, an even better part of it is that it was a small portion and KL had a piece so I didn’t really eat all that much of it – I think there were 6 little bite sized pieces total and I only ate 5. I had one cube of fried tofu (that was KL’s appie) so tofu = good, fried = bad…lol. I had a salmon maki roll, there were 6 pieces, man I love salmon!

My big bad was my specialty roll, I can’t even remember what was in it, lol, I know it had a mayo sauce drizzled around it and I am guilty of dipping my rolls in it. 😛 There was shrimp tempura and some other kind of seafood in the roll and it was topped with shredded seaweed, oh, there was cucumber in there, and I think avocado too…the shrimp tempura part is the worst part of it I think, I mean, hello? Deep fried? Bad! But sooooo tasty lol. Then, just to make it worse, we split an ice cream sundae which when we ordered it I envisioned a classic sunday in those long dishes, well, Japanese restaurants don’t do that lol. This was in a martini glass, the bottom had corn flakes in it, then three small scoops of ice cream, one on top of the other in the middle, surrounded by fresh strawberries and blueberries, a small amount of whipping cream and 3 cream puffs, oh, and the whole thing was topped off with a chocolate cookie. 🙂

The amount of ice cream used total for the sundae was maybe half a cup and one scoop I didn’t like the flavour at all so really, I ate about 1 small scoop total of the ice cream, I had 1 whole strawberry and I managed to snag about 4 blueberries, I will confess to eating the corn flakes, well those I could nab before KL ate them. lol. Oh, and I got half the cookie and 1 cream puff. *eyebrow wiggle* Only crazy people don’t eat cream puffs! 😉 So really, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been…bless restaurants that have small portions, they are a rarity but I love em. 😀

So sure, what I ate was more points then what I should have eaten, even with exercising today but it was tasty and it was nice getting to catch up with KL.

I was lazy all but one day over the past week, I am hoping starting this week with dragon boating will be the boot in the ass I need to get back to my daily exercising. I can’t believe I got so lazy about it! Ack! Weather permitting I will hike everyday this week, honest! Also, I will do my bestest to get to 2 boxerfit classes or more this week, I seem to have bad luck when it comes to getting to that class so I am aiming for only 2 classes this week in the hopes I will be able to manage that. lol.

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Breakfast Food Day!

25 Jun

I declare today a Breakfast Food Day – meaning everything I eat will be a breakfast food – Yum! 😀

The reason for this? I had to get up early today (well, early for me anyways) and when I was making breakfast rain started pouring down like crazy, it immediately made me think it’d be a nice day for staying in, wearing sweats, drinking tea and lounging and what goes better with that then warm breakfast foods? lol.

So for breakfast I had oatmeal and oh, you should try this! My mom got me eating this combo, you cook your oatmeal on the stove (oh yeah, this is real oatmeal not instant) then you pour it on top of yogurt – uh, in a bowl, not into the yogurt container 😛 It’s yummy! The yogurt stops it from tasting too bland and you save points by not putting brown sugar or syrup on it…or whatever it is you put on it. I had a 1/2 C of uncooked oatmeal which turns in to 1 C cooked, normally I have 1/3 C uncooked and some toast but I thought this time I’d just do the oatmeal and yogurt so 2 points for the oatmeal and 2 points for my yogurt, a 4 pointed breakfast, not too shabby. lol.

It’s only 2 pm so I haven’t eaten anything else yet (I ate breakfast at 11am) but I’m already looking forward to the rest of my food for the day. lol. I haven’t decided yet if I am going to eat eggs in some format, pancakes or french toast…so many breakfast food options! Obviously there are more options but those are my top three picks so far…I could always go for cereal, some turkey bacon, crepes….oooooh, crepes, hmm, now I have a top 4 to choose from! lol. Ah well, I’ll figure it out by the time I get hungry I’m sure. 🙂

As you have probably noticed, I am not dead, nor did I get robbed when the couple came to look at my desk today – this is why I had to be up early. *rolls eyes* I was asking $75, she offered $60, I wasn’t expecting to get over $50 so I feel happy about how much I got. My room looks a lot emptier now, it’s kinda sad, what is even sadder is that my poor computer is turned off, unplugged and sitting in pieces on my bed and by tonight it will be sitting in pieces on my floor! My poor computers! They will feel like I don’t love them cause of this treatment! Ack. 😉 Sorry…I’m way attached to my computers. 😛 One of them is never turned off, unless I go away for over a week cause well, why keep it on if I am not here? It is almost always downloading something though which is why it is always on. That is the one I am worried will be distraught, thinking I don’t love it anymore. hehehe. Heck, even my external hard drive is turned off and unplugged…it is so…weird…

My friend KL is selling me her old desk cause she is getting a custom made one. This may seem weird, selling mine just to buy another but it’s not. Mine is really big, can easily hold 3 computers (and it has!) and is really meant for someone who needs space to spread out text books, papers etc and I don’t need that space anymore. Also, the desk takes a lot of space in my room and I am feeling cramped in there so KL’s desk is perfect, it is smaller, it’s antique which is not normally my thing but I enjoy the rollertop lid part and it has lots of built in drawers whereas the desk I sold today doesn’t. It’s a good swap and since she’s charging me $50 and I got paid $60 for mine I have a super tiny but still there profit. 😀 Profit is goooood, even if it will only pay for a small amount of groceries, shrug. 😛

This is usually the time I would be getting up on a saturday but not this time, so far today I have sold a desk, gotten all groomed for the day, eaten, realized I can’t hike cause of the rain, checked and discovered there is no boxerfit class, spoken with my acting coach on the phone, spoken with my parents on the phone, had multiple text convos, watched Wimbledon, drank multiple cups of tea and well, now I have nothing to do. lol.

What the hell do people who get up early on saturday mornings do with their day??? *confused face*

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So Not My Fault

24 Jun

Alright, so I didn’t exercise today but it’s not my fault! It’s been alternating raining and sunny – it changes about every half hour or so and when it’s raining it’s pouring so the hiking trail is all mud, ew! and my shift got extended by an extra hour so I wasn’t able to get to boxerfit. shrug. So see? Not my fault I wasn’t able to exercise in my traditional manner.

However, I would like to point out I was not lazing around today and anyone who says hanging out with 4.5 year old twins is not exercise is, well…wrong! lol. 😛

They were great kids but come on, they are at that stupid active age where sitting and reading or sitting and well, just sitting, is not high on their list of things to do. *rolls eyes* So today, I have put together a princess tent, bandaged a scraped elbow, gone to the park and pushed kids on swings, twirled them on tire swings, held them while they pretended they could use the monkey bars etc, oh, and caught them as they came down the slide. There was also dragging the bike accross a wet grassy field and up various hills (with the child still on the bike!), protecting the poor going blind dog, and running a couple blocks intermittently so the kids didn’t get impatient waiting for me at the corners on their bikes. Busy!

What’s even better? I have only eaten 18 points today, I still have 2 points left! This is like the first day in ages where I will eat my points and only my points, no flex points happenin today, sweeeet! Also, even though it wasn’t really exercise it was still some activity so I don’t feel too too badly about that – my arms are freakin killing me, and different muscles then normal, apparently pushing 2 kids at the same time really high on swings uses arm muscles I don’t always exercise when I use my weights or go to boxerfit, go figure.

Today I have eaten:

29 g Special K = 2 points

1/4 C 1% milk = 0.5 points

2 pcs toast = 1 point

1/2 tbls whipped peanut butter = 1 point

1 banana = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1 light babybell cheese = 1 point

1 apple = 1 point

1 pear = 1 point

2 pcs bread = 1 point

10 slices turkey pepperoni = 1 point

2 cheese slices = 2 points

1 3/4 C Red Pepper and Tomato soup = 3.5 points

Total points eaten = 18

So now I am going to desert my couch (so sad!) and go do some work in my room, I have a lady coming to look at my desk tomorrow (I am selling it on kijiji and craigslist) and hopefully (cross fingers!) she buys it. I have to tidy up the space so the desk looks it’s best (all uncluttered etc) and so if she does buy it there is room to move around and take it apart, lol. She says she is bringing her boyfriend and he is the one whose gonna be doing the manual labour which I am fine with cause no way in hell am I taking it apart but I am slightly concerned about having strangers in my place so I asked my landlord’s son (he’s in his 30’s) if he’d please make sure to be around when they show up just in case. He’s doing me a decent and changing some plans so he’s around cause as he says “safety first”. That is not normally my motto (where’s the fun in that? lol) but in this case I will opt with safety over recklessness – I have no desire to be robbed or worse while trying to make $75, just not worth it! lol 😛

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