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My Last Three Days

21 Mar

My last three days have been busy, or at least they felt that way but when I look back on them I can’t figure out why they felt so busy…weird… 😛

Well ok, Tuesday wasn’t busy lol I slept in, chilled with the cat then went to dragon boat practice. After practice I made dinner, cooked a new fish dish which turned out well, when I say “well” I mean I didn’t give myself food poisoning lol It tasted fine, nothing great so I won’t be buying it again, shrug. It was healthy though, which was what I was aiming for so yay for getting that right! Although, someone out there will probably read what it was and say I am wrong *rolls eyes* Leave me with my delusions! lol

It was a coconut crusted piece of tilapia, there was seasoning in there too, not like it was just coconut but since it came pre-crusted/seasoned I couldn’t say for sure what those seasonings were…

tilapia coated with seasoning and coconut, yams and grilled peppers

tilapia coated with seasoning and coconut, yams and grilled peppers

I paired it with some red and yellow grilled peppers and some sliced yam, those were cooked in a pan on top of the stove with no butter/spray/oil used, I just put a small bit of water in the pan so the food didn’t stick. I was paranoid about cooking the fish, the instructions said cook for ten minutes per inch and a half of thickness, what?? That’s not cool, I want specific directions for my piece of fish, I want to be told exactly how many minutes for my fish, not have to figure it out myself cause dude, I’ll figure it out wrong! Least, that was the panicked thoughts going through my head lol Turns out it was cooked perfectly, go fig! 🙂

Wednesday I spent the afternoon with my lil sis at the mall. Normally I try to get us doing something active for at least part of our time together but her birthday was this week so I let her decide every thing we did Wednesday which meant we spent the entire time in the mall. Ah well, it’s her day! 🙂 We had fun, which was a given really lol I bought a new phone case for myself which I am in love with right now, every time I pick up my phone I laugh, teehee, and yes I know, I am easily amused. It is a someecards cover and looks like this…

cause I know you care what my phone case looks like lol

cause I know you care what my phone case looks like lol

We had a pit stop at Tim Horton’s cause well, why wouldn’t we?? There is a new maple glazed doughnut out and all I can say to Timmy’s about that is bravo *slow clap* ya done goooooood! My other comment to them is where are all the winning cups?? It’s Roll Up The Rim game time and none of my cups have won so far! *pout*

medium steeped tea and a doughnut, classic!

medium steeped tea and a doughnut, classic!

In the evening I hung out with KL, we got dinner (Indian food, Mmm!), then saw the movie 12 Years A Slave and holy crap was it amazing! Brutal. But amazing. So no exercise for me at all on Wednesday, and lots of food, which is sorta reversed to how it is supposed to be but alas, Wednesday was two days ago so there’s nuthin I can do about it now! lol 😛

Sidenote:

Every time this commercial comes on tv I stop and watch. I love it, well, right up until it gets to the part about advertising for Centrum Science Multi-Vitamins cause I’m not on that whole vitamin bandwagon but I find the commercial inspiring (to a point). All those people, of various ages and backgrounds taking part in a wide variety of physical activities, leading healthy lifestyles, I dunno, something about it makes me want to do more. Try a new sport, or go back to one I used to do and stopped *cough*boxing*cough*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDvJ00qaPvA

Thursday!

I had a relaxing morning, went to an audition early afternoon, then dragon boat practice at night then out for dinner later that night. Thursday was a good day. 🙂

The audition went great, I got amazing feedback from the casting director so wOOt! wOOt! I can’t tell anything about the project or specifics about the auditions cause I signed a non-disclosure agreement but if it turns in to anything rest assured I’ll be linking it to my blog so you can all pretend to watch it lol 😉

At practice we got informed that us girls have to train twice as hard as the guys and that we (this time I mean everyone, not just the girls) are supposed to be eating healthy (duh!) and we aren’t supposed to drink alcohol…um, what? Not like I drink a lot or anything but…none? At all? Hmm…this woman really doesn’t know us lol

Her strictness with things did help curb my appetite today though, which I suppose is good, any little bit helps right? I had dinner at work but only cause it was a fish steak with veggies, there were other things with it (mashed potatoes, spring rolls, apple pie etc) but I didn’t eat those. Didn’t even snag a cookie for dessert!

Oh and lastly! A friend of mine who is a trainer informed me that a respectable time to complete my BMO Run is 45 minutes…I’m going to die…my training is pretty much non-existent, which is not good, I’ve gotta start kicking my own ass in to gear when it comes to running, ugh. Whyyyyyy did I sign up for this? Stupid-wanting-a-new-challenge-feeling *rolls eyes* 😛

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Middle Ground

15 Mar

I’ve got a pair of pants that when I bought them I thought they fit but once I got them home and wore them out for the first time I realized they were actually a bit too big. The crotch (I hate that word! lol) was too low so it rubbed against the inside of my thighs causing pain and raw skin…too much info? only happens to me? Yeah, sigh, figures… 😉 lol

Anyways! I put the pants in the dryer, a calculated risk, that I hoped would prove to be a smart idea. It did, sorta. The pants, after a couple runs through the dryer fit better around the waist, butt, hips and leg areas. They were a tad shorter than I like but not so much shorter I can’t still wear them with a variety of shoes. Phew! My legs are so long I hang to dry all pants because they can very quickly become too short and I look like that person who is expecting a flood 24/7 lol 😛

So today for work I wore the pants. I was maaaaaybe an hour in to my shift and every time I was standing or walking I was also pulling the pants up a bit and wishing I’d worn a belt. They were fitting looser in all areas but of course were still the tad too short they had been since the dryer stints.

I don’t know if this means I have lost a little bit of weight (please oh please mean I have lost some weight! *crosses fingers*) or if it means my pants have stretched out a bit or didn’t shrink quite as much as I realized. Obviously I’m hoping I got smaller not that my pants got bigger.

I seem to appear to be back in the middle ground of clothing sizes. I hate the middle ground. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, it is that stage where you are becoming too small for one size but are still too big for the next size down so your clothes don’t fit nicely no matter what you wear. It sucks even if it is an indication you’re on the right track.

this goes for all clothes

this goes for all clothes

Thing is, I can’t think of anything that would have made me slim down a bit so I’m leaning towards the pants stretching out, which sucks.

I’ve been working on making small changes with my food, cutting out the processed foods I’d been enjoying during my off season, drinking more water, making sure to get protein in at every meal (well, ok, almost every meal, this is me after all lol), and, the big one, I’m eating less peanut butter! Shocking I know! I mean c’mon, I am the person who happily eats a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter and considers it a meal lol But yeah, small changes to my eating, nothing major, nothing to warrant slimming down enough to make pants fit looser.

One happy bonus to the pants fitting loosely this evening was it made it easier to resist bad-for-me-foods cause I kept thinking “if I have lost some weight I don’t wanna gain it back by making a stupid food choice” lol Oh the things I use for increasing my willpower! 😛

I have noticed lately that I am finding it easier to resist the foods that usually have me caving. Weird huh? Weird but awesome! If I walk through the bakery section at the grocery store I may glance at all the bakery items I usually drool over but I don’t pause and I definitely don’t buy. I contemplated pizza earlier in the week but easily managed to not order it. I’m finding it easier to not eat the foods at work.

I’m not sure where this increase in willpower has come from but I like it! 🙂 Maybe it’s because it’s dragon boat season again and I want to be in peak condition for practices and for the upcoming race season. Maybe it’s because I am “training” for the BMO Run and keep having horrifying images of a fat me being the last to cross the finish line at the run. Maybe it’s because I have had two auditions in the past two weeks (hoorah!) and want to look better and better for each upcoming audition. That and obviously the more confident I feel about how I look the less I will worry about it when in front of the camera meaning the more I can focus on my acting…and the  more I will look “right” according to casting directors.

It’s probably some combination of all these things and more, who knows what is lurking in my sub-conscious? lol 😉

Whatever it is, I am glad for it. Glad to be that person who easily walks past all the high calorie, processed, so tasty but so bad for me foods and buys the healthy stuff. Glad to be getting back to the way I used to be. Glad that this juuuuust might be the first step towards a healthier, stronger, slimmer me. *crosses fingers*

take the first step, put down the cookie!

take the first step, put down the cookie!

 

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A Horrible Run

14 Mar

I’ve probably said it a thousand times on this blog but…I am NOT a runner! Yes ok, I did sign up to participate in the BMO Run but I’m pretty sure it is going to kill me, sigh. 😛

So now I’m in “training”…

The first run I did two weeks ago went greeeeat! I couldn’t believe it! Maybe I really could do this running thing! I did that first run aiming to hopefully reach 5km with no time limit. I ran almost 7km in 58 minutes which I know isn’t anything approaching a time to be proud of but hey, I managed to go farther than I thought I could and that is the part I was focusing on. During that run I had multiple “oh-my-god-I’m-really-doing-this” moments, where I was so shocked and excited with how well I was doing compared to how I thought I would be doing that I actually loved that run. I thought I had an inkling about how people seem to get addicted to this running thing.

Then there was my run this past Monday…

Oh my gawd, could it have been any worse? No, no I really don’t think it could have been. I had barely gone a block and I wanted to quit. My thighs hurt, I was breathing hard, I was so not enjoying myself. Ugh. Plus, I was all “what the hell? I got farther than this last time without feeling like I was going to die, what happened???” It was disastrous! I did a measly 5.06km and it took me 46 minutes! I might as well have been going backwards! So embarrassing. I quick walked a good chunk of it, head literally hanging in shame as others ran past me, sigh.

kill me

I have some vague ideas about why the second run was oh-so-much worse than the first but I can’t decide if they are legit reasons or excuses…

The lead up to each of the runs couldn’t have been farther apart if I’d tried. Run #1 I was at home relaxing, had a perfectly balanced meal (protein, carb, healthy fat), nothing of import happened that day, weather was clear and I ran at night. Run #2 I was up at 5:20am for work, at the time of my run I hadn’t eaten in 5-6 hours, what I had eaten earlier that day was not a perfectly balanced meal at all, it was super windy, I ran evening-ish and ten minutes before my shift ended a resident fell smashing her head open on the floor and yours truly was the one who attended her while waiting for paramedics ( blood, blood everywhere, ugh).

Also, for some reason that day what I wanted more than anything was to go for a hike, to wander the wilderness, go off trail for a while, just be in nature (who am I??). I wanted the peace of being away from people, from expectations, from the world…I wanted away from everything, so my only focus was on where I was putting my next step, where I could breath deep and only smell nature not people or exhaust fumes…seriously, who am I now? I’m such a city girl that this yearning for nature is so not like me! lol But there ya have it, if it hadn’t been too late in the day I would have strapped on boots and gone hiking. Wouldn’t have counted as training for my run but it would have appeased my soul…and don’t I sound so dramatic! lol 😛

Hiking is such a great de-stresser and I think what I wanted most was to scrub the sound of that resident’s head smashing in to the floor out of my memory…seriously, such a noise! I’ve never heard a sound like that before and would very much like to never hear it again.

Sometimes I wonder about the damage this job is doing to my psyche, sigh…

Anyways!

The second run, it was horrible taken to a new level! I have no idea if this is normal for people who are  starting out in running, maybe everyone who runs has good and bad runs? Man I hope this is normal, otherwise I was right and I am not meant to run and I will die a horrible sweaty red faced panting death the day of the BMO Run, and worse than all that I’ll be last! I don’t wanna be last *pout*

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What’s Your Goal?

13 Mar

Everyone has a different goal, sure they can often times be lumped in to groups but each person’s goal is unique. In terms of weight loss the main groups I have been focused on lately are:

– get skinny

– get strong

The reason I am focused so much on these two groups is because for the loooongest time if you had asked me my goal it was “to get skinny”. That’s it, end of story. All I wanted, more than anything, was to be skinny. I’m decently tall for a girl (5’8″) and feel it is grossly unfair I am not also skinny, aren’t tall girls supposed to be skinny? *pout* All my Weight Watchers, low calorie, paleo (and more!) eating plans were followed because of the promise I would lose weight and I interpreted that as “I would get skinny”, after all, that’s what happens when you lose weight, right? All my hiking, treadmill running, HIIT training, weight lifting, squat challenges etc were all done for the same reason, to get me skinny.

Obviously that hasn’t happened.

Over the past couple months or so my goal has, hmm, I don’t want to say completely changed but…shifted I guess? Evolved. Altered. Broadened.

Now when I think of how I want to look it’s not just “skinny” it’s a combination of words: skinny, fit, obvious muscle definition, strong.

I want to be strong.

Not body builder strong, *shudder* but my body’s version of strong.

I say “my body’s” because I firmly believe not every body can achieve the same “look”. I heard this from a trainer years ago and I have to say, it makes sense to me. My body has a natural build, that I sadly, covered in excess squishy-ness but under all my squishy-ness there is a body type that I have to work with. I have hips, not just cause there is fat on them but because my skeletal frame gave me curvy hips, some women have super slim hips sometimes referred to as guy’s hips, no matter how much I diet, how much I work out, unless I get plastic surgery I will always have curvy hips. Just like the woman with the super slim hips will always have super slim hips.  You can’t change what your bones are doing. You have to just deal with what you have and work with it.

fat grapefruit

As I have come to terms with this I took a look around for inspiration, for women who have the physical look that I am trying to achieve. Whereas before I used to think of Nicole Kidman or Julia Roberts or any number of runway models and obsess over how they are so skinny and I want to be soooo skinny but how the hell do I get to look like them?? Now I am thinking more along the lines of Michelle Rodriguez. She is slim, has muscle definition, nobody doubts she is strong (and not strong for a girl but simply strong), curvy, fit and feminine. The feminine part is important because I find the media forgets that women who are strong can also be girly.

Michelle Rodriguez - slim but with muscle

Michelle Rodriguez – slim but with muscles

Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman – sooooo skinny

I realized that a lot of the fitness activities I partake in were never going to get me to “skinny”, because while yes they provided cardio and burned calories the activities I lean towards also involve working my muscles and that will automatically strengthen my muscles…which, if I am lucky, will give me some level of muscle definition. Actually, I know it will give me muscle definition cause last dragon boat season my shoulders and arms had actual definition that I lost during the off season and am oh-so-hoping to get back soon. Muscle memory how I am relying on you!

For a while I worried that I was focusing more on getting strong because I thought I was incapable of achieving skinny, I was looking at my change of perception, my change of goal as a failure. But now, I don’t think that is what this is about. It’s not just about my being realistic for what I can achieve either. It is what I want. I could cut my food intake drastically, do nothing but cardio and let my body eat away at itself until I am super skinny but then what? I won’t be able to dragon boat, I’ll be too weak to compete. I won’t be able to make it up the side of a mountain when I go hiking, I’ll have no stamina or strength to manage the trails. I won’t be able to enter things like the BMO run. I’d never finish the course. For all that I want to be skinny, I want to be strong more. I want to be able to enjoy the various activities I take part in. I want to be able to sign up for a new challenge and know I’ll be able to work hard towards completing it. I want to not just keep up with others but pass them by – hey, what can I say, I’m competitive! 😉

The happy side effect of this new goal, this goal of attaining strength, muscle definition and being fit is that it will automatically make me look slimmer. A pound of muscle takes up less space than a pound of fat so if I can swap out my fat (obviously not all of it or I’d be dead lol) for muscle I’ll look slimmer, be stronger, get my muscle definition aaaaand manage to uncover the body that I hid underneath all this squishy-ness. And wouldn’t that just be fab? 🙂

sorry for the random girl in her underwear...

sorry for the random girl in her underwear…

sidenote: I didn’t put dragon boating in the list of activities I do to attain the goal of skinny because I dragon boat because of how much I love the sport…it just has the sweeeeeet side effect of being a fitness activity lol

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Run Turtle! Run!

4 Mar

I am not a runner. People think I should be good at it cause I have long legs. That’s like saying I should be good at basketball because I am tall. Neither of those presumptions makes any sense! *rolls eyes*

Despite this I decided to sign up for the BMO Run in May…I should not be allowed on the internet after midnight! lol So, due to a deep rooted fear I will either (1) not be able to complete the run, (2) be the slooooowest person in the run, (3) die while attempting the run or (4) a combo of all three, I figure I should do some sort of training. Ya know, run a bit, work my way up to the distance I will be running in May.

run meme

Of course there is the side benefit of (hopefully) losing weight while I take on this whole running thing. I may hate running but even I know it is wicked awesome cardio. 🙂

Tuesdays are my Saturdays and I usually spend them doing an amazing imitation of a sloth until I meet up with friends at night but this Tuesday I made no plans with friends for the night and gave myself a whopping two goals to accomplish.

(1) Eat healthy

(2) Exercise

Seems pretty simple right? I mean, it’s only two freakin things to accomplish in one day, who can’t manage that??

I feel that for the most part I ate in a healthy way, I’m not very good at judging if food is healthy or not due to the fact that I have so many “food rules” floating in my brain, some of them contradict each other, and I’m never sure which rules to follow. sigh. Why do there have to be so many rules?

My first meal of the day was a whole wheat wrap filled with two slices of turkey bacon, sauteed mushrooms, two scrambled eggs (seasoned with dill) and about 6 sweet pickles. Oh, and I spread two triangles of Light Laughing Cow cheese on the inside of the wrap. Soooo yummy! I also had a banana. I know I should have used only one egg but it was a big wrap and I accidentally added too much water to the first egg so when I poured it in to the pan it looked not-so-great, it seemed a wise decision to add a second egg…even if it is gluttonous. sigh.

I then procrastinated on the going for exercise part of my day, of course! lol 😛

I originally thought I’d digest for a half hour or so then either go for a run or go for a session at the gym. I was good with either and actually kinda wanted to do both. I wanted to run because of needing to train for the run in May but I wanted to go to the gym because I feel I have lost some of my upper body strength and I want to build it back up, what with it being dragon boat season an all.

It was sleeting so that made the decision for me, I’d jog to the gym, work out, jog home and feel righteous lol Well…I slacked, as is my way lol I watched tv, played games on my iPad, cuddled with the cat, thought about how I should get up and exercise but didn’t actually move from my seat lol convinced myself it was ok if I didn’t go right away cause my gym is open till 11pm today so I can always go later evening if I want.

The slacking lasted so long I got hungry, oops! I didn’t want a meal though so I made some toast with peanut butter and honey on it. Bad I know! CarbsCarbsCarbs, ugh, why do I have to love you so much?? I decided that if I was going to continue slacking then I had to increase my fluid intake, at least do something good for my body, so I made more tea lol and drank a couple big glasses of water. I used to drink water like it was going out of style but I somehow got out of that habit – I should really fix that…note to self, drink more water!…maybe that can be my goal for tomorrow? 😛

Eventually I got off my ass and got ready to go work out, it had stopped sleeting so I decided to go running, I wanted to use the MapMyRun App I had installed the day prior and I really wanted to use the ArmPocket I bought a bit ago. It didn’t occur to me until I was outside locking my door that it was pitch black outside, way past sunset. Did this deter me from running? Nope.

The MapMyRun had a route starting near me that was a bit over 5km, I thought that’d be a good place to start. If I’d gone in daylight the route would have been way better lol It took me on a non-lit, deserted path that had river on one side and forest on the other, I felt like I was in an episode of Criminal Minds and was half convinced I was going to die due to my stupidity but obviously nothing happened. The map route however, was flawed, erg. I got to this one section and it wanted me to cross the street to go do a loop through a park, well, the street it wanted me to cross was the highway, at a section there is nowhere to cross and I’m sorry but I may do a lot of stupid things but jaywalking across a highway is not one of them! Also, signs for the park the map said I would find across the street indicated it was actually on the side of the street I was on but farther down. I was mightily confused because oh man do I have seriously lacking navigation skills. I opted for turning around and heading home, not through the deserted scary trail section though, phew! I was around the 4km mark at that point and figured for sure I’d hit 5km by the time I got home, turns out I ran 6.80km. Which I am aware is super short for most people but I’m happy with it. At the end I felt like I could have kept going which I take as a good sign for my next run, and the run in May!

My dinner was a chicken breast stuffed with cheese and broccoli, sliced pan cooked yam, roasted yellow peppers, vermicelli noodles with a bit of sweet and sour sauce mixed in and some sweet pickles. Why the pickles? Cause I like em. 🙂 I think it was healthy, but again, not certain because while I can argue that it is, I can also find ways to argue that it isn’t, sigh. It was tasty though…if that counts? 😛

dinner - healthy? not healthy? who knows!

dinner – healthy? not healthy? who knows!

A couple hours after dinner I ate a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich, man those are good. In the world of Weight Watchers they are 2 points which makes it seem like not such a bad snack? I’m still feeling kinda hungry but no more food for me today, instead lots more water. Mmm water!…said no one ever! lol 😉

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V-Day an Stuff

14 Feb

Ohhhh Valentine’s Day, sigh, the day when single girls can’t catch a break. Either people shoot looks of pity your way because you are single and *gasp* not doing anything social on this oh-so-red-infused day or they read into everything you say/do and nod sagely while calling you out on your so-called bitterness. *rolls eyes*

my surprise valentine present

my surprise valentine present

People don’t seem to understand the concept of a single female who is happy being just that, single. It’s ok for guys to be single, people don’t go around thinking they are running out of time to get married, they don’t assume a guy is bitter about being single, they don’t even seem to feel the need to reassure the guy that they’ll meet the right one soon.

But single women? Oh man the comments that I have had thrown my way, a girl needs kevlar just to survive out there lol 😛

I don’t see why my being single gives everyone around me the self-appointed right to judge every aspect of my life. Although, to be fair, I judge a lot of people I know who are in disfunctional unhappy relationships but who aren’t taking any steps to get out of them because it is more comfortable to be un-happy but know what to expect then to make a drastic change with only the hope of becoming happy…I guess really, we all judge each other, it’s just so much more apparent at certain times of the year or at certain social situations.

I, as a single woman, am not allowed to make any sarcastic comments about Valentine’s Day, I can’t make rude jokes about it, not one snarky comment can pass my lips because I will be instantly branded as bitter. Which, believe it or not, I’m not. On the reverse, I also can’t make sappy remarks about it, I can’t want to see the newest romantic comedy that is in theatre and I can’t buy any of the chocolate for myself because I will be instantly branded as someone pining for love and pitied. Which again, I’m not.

There’s no winning!

So on that note, I am without sarcasm or sappiness wishing you all a Happy Valentine’s Day, I hope you spent the day eating whatever you wanted, hanging out with whomever you wanted (or avoiding all those you didn’t want to see) and I hope you were legit happy for at least part of the day. 🙂

Onward to more exciting stuff!

Look what came in the mail today!

Armpocket 1-30

Armpocket i-30

*insert girly squeal here*

I’m sooooooo excited! I ordered this a while ago but it had to clear customs (it came from the states) so it took a bit longer than normal to receive. It is an arm band to hold my phone, keys and other small things while I am running. Lame to be excited? Maybe…but I don’t care, I’m excited! 😀

Every time I want to go running it is a juggling act of what goes in to which pocket and then when I am running I am constantly checking my pockets to make sure I haven’t lost anything. On top of that I usually have my phone in one hand (I use an app on there to track my distance, speed, calories burned etc) and in my other hand is my iPod so I can listen to music. I look ridiculous and never really feel comfortable when running because I am always worried about losing things. But this new toy will fix all that!

The one I bought is the i-30. I chose it because it was on sale. Yeah, really awesome research right? lol I did research it in 2013, and even went so far as to ask for it for Christmas but I didn’t get it. I figured oh well, maybe in summer I’ll buy one buuuut since I have to train for this run I signed up for (it is in May) I took a look at their site again and the one I wanted was on sale because they’d come out with a new version for 2014. Sweeeet! Since I didn’t care about the minor tweaks they made for the new version I bought the one I originally wanted but for cheap…well, cheaper. 😛

The specs:

-The fabric is made from recycled plastic bottles – which I love!

-It has a touch-through cover so I’ll be able to use my phone’s screen without taking it out of the armpocket.

-It has 3 interior storage compartments so you can carry your phone, keys, ID, energy bar etc – no more juggling things in my pocket for me!

-It is water proof.

-Ventilated straps so my arm won’t be a nasty sweaty mess under the strap when I’m running.

There are of course other things that the pamphlet and website say are awesome about it but these are the reasons I chose it. 🙂

The only thing I’m not so impressed with are the pockets inside. There are three interior storage compartments to securely hold your items, the pic shows your credit card and ID fitting nicely in to one pocket while your keys and cash go in the second and then your phone is in the third. Well…hmm…those interior pockets that are supposed to be for my plastic and keys are small, as in narrow, as in I don’t think my ID or credit card would fit in one…it’s not like American ID cards or credit cards are different sizes so I don’t know why the pockets are so narrow…I’ll be fiddling more with it tomorrow and I’ll see, maybe my stuff really will fit in there ok? Even if they don’t fit perfectly I am still happy with it. Course, I’ll be happier after I’ve gone for a run with it on my arm and I know how well it feels and if it really doesn’t slide down the arm like they claim. lol

Shoot, I had other things I wanted to write about but this is already really long…sigh, I guess I’ll have to write a separate post *rolls eyes*

Cheerio!

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30 Day Challenge Confirmed

13 Feb

It seems that I am taking part in the 30 Day Squat Circuit Challenge…I’m still mildly confused by this even though it was my decision to do it lol

I'm doing this??

I’m doing this??

I did the first day thinking something along the lines of “I can do this but it doesn’t really mean anything…I can still not do the challenge…” then I did day two and three and well, it seems I’m committed now lol. 😛

I’m glad I’m doing this challenge, it’ll be good for me, and will hopefully push me to get to the gym more often, and the mountain! We got some fresh snow the other day up on the mountain so guess whose hoping to go snowshoeing tomorrow? If you guessed me you’d be riiiiight! 😀

Today was spent with my lil sis at the gym working with a trainer. He focused on showing us solid, full body moves that we can do in gyms or at home (so we have no excuse to not work out lol) and I felt like I got a good workout. Not as good of a workout as it could have been but that was because it was a learning workout so there were more pauses than there normally would be as he explained things, or corrected form or took pictures. Yes, took pictures, weird huh? He took pictures of us doing various exercises that he will email us so we will remember what the proper form looks like for various exercises. Smart man.

He also gave us a suggestion for a workout to do together next week (this week was our last session with him, sadness), he suggested we do the Widow Maker. Neither of us had heard of it, it is basically a freakin huuuuuge outdoor staircase that equals to 12-13 flights of stairs. Huh. We promised we’d do it next wednesday and have also promised to email him to let him know we did it so we really do have to do this thing, we’re accountable to the man…I think that was his sneaky plan to make sure we kept working out…

He also suggested we go back in 3-4 months and have another fitness evaluation so we can see how far we’ve come (this is of course assuming we get better and not worse lol). I think it’s a great idea! My lil sis wasn’t quite as excited at the idea but maybe she’ll warm to it…I was hoping to magically find the money to be able to meet with a trainer from there every three weeks or so, to help me stay on track, learn new things, and to eventually re-evaluate my fitness levels. I can’t sign up with the trainer we’ve been working with cause he charges $75/hour and you have to book minimum 2 sessions per week with him, eek! Sooooo can’t afford that! He said other trainers there charge $65/hour and don’t have minimum amounts you have to work with them. I’d rather stay with him cause I’ve been working with him but I’m sure the others are just as good. However, I have decided I can’t afford the expense, boo! But am more than willing to take up his offer of another fitness evaluation in 4 months time. This will give me something to work towards and motivation is always a welcome thing in my world lol

I find I have a tendency to lose motivation, I still have all the reasons I have always had to get in shape buuuuuut my laziness takes over and I forget in the moment why I should work out instead of go to a movie with a friend, oops? lol Adding another reason for why I should work out is good, but what will make the difference is that he will be seeing me in a relatively short amount of time and I want to be able to show him I’ve gotten better, not stayed the same or gotten worse. I think knowing I will be tested will help me to not eat the bad-for-me-food and will also help me get out there and exercise. *crosses fingers*

Oh, and don’t forget that 8km I signed up for…I should really start training for that soon…maybe that should be my motivation? 😉

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Another 30 Day Challenge?

11 Feb

The other day I was bored and started searching for 30 Day Challenges. I was actually thinking I’d redo the 30 Day Squat Challenge I did last summer because I liked the results I got from it and well, I know I can do it lol Nothing like going in to a challenge knowing you’ve done it once and can do it again! lol 😛 Also, I’ve gotta get my act in gear and get in shape, these challenges are nice additions to an already existing work out plan but they are also a great motivator. I mean, if you go and do a bunch of squats well, you’ve warmed up your body, you’re revved up and thinking you can handle anything which in turn can quite easily lead to a gym session or a jog (weather permitting) or at least working out to an exercise dvd, right? Right!…well, at least for me…

So I was searching for the 30 Day Squat challenge from last summer and came across this little gem…

30daysquatchallengeSorry it is so blurry, I’ll try to get a better image up but for now this is the best I could find.

In some ways it is the same as any other squat challenge, it gets you up to doing 200 squats in a day within 30 days buuuuut the main difference is that instead of just doing your standard squat you do 5 different squat poses per session. I love it! This way you are getting a more well rounded lower body workout because you are working different parts of your legs by doing the different types of squats! Yay!

To give you an example yesterday I did 6 each of the five different squats:

-narrow squat (feet together)

-narrow squat with a kick back (legs together, do a narrow squat, when you come up lift leg backwards)

-standard squat

-standard squat with side leg lift (do a standard squat, when you come up lift leg to the side)

-sumo squat

For the narrow squats with kick back and the standard squat with side leg lifts one rep is both legs, for example, you do a narrow squat, get to standing position, lift right leg back, then do the same thing but lift the left leg back, that is one set. This way a set of 6 means each leg gets lifted back 6 times. Does that makes sense?

I haven’t done my squats yet today and it is already 1:30am, doesn’t mean I won’t do them once I finish typing this and right before I go to bed but they sure will suck that little bit more because I left them so late lol My own fault though, sigh. 😛

A friend at work saw the print out and asked what it was so I showed her and she asked for a copy, she seemed really gung-ho about it which inspired a sorta brilliant idea in my head. Why not invite the staff at work to take part in the challenge, we can all do it together! I don’t mean we all get together daily and do the squats at the same time, lol, that’d be weird! 😛 Just that if we all know each other is doing the challenge then it might make us more likely to finish, we can encourage each other and we can bitch to each other about how hard it is lol, stuff like that.

I thought it was a great idea, the others? Not so much. sigh. One of the girls said no, her reasons ranged from she is too fat to do squats, to she is too short to do squats to just plain no. Another girl already had a work out plan she follows and doesn’t want to add to it (fair enough). One wants to do it and was all “yeah, I’m in!” but when I asked her today how her squats went yesterday she was all ready with reasons why she couldn’t get them done. The girl who initially was all gung-ho didn’t start yet but said she would today after work so next time we have a shift together I’ll ask her how it is going…at this point I am wondering if any of them will actually do it, sigh.

oh so true

oh so true

I get it, you have to want to work out in order to work out, at least initially. You have to have something inside of you driving you to be uncomfortable, to get sweaty, to force you up off the comfy couch and out the door to the gym or at least to the middle of the room where you then start doing squats which, even if you are in shape are hard work. All sorts of things can be a persons motivation but if you don’t have at least one thing motivating you juuuuust enough you aren’t going to change your habits and actually find the time and energy to do the work. I firmly believe you can always find some time in the day to exercise, it is just a matter of using that time for exercising and not for resting, or reading, or watching tv, or napping, or talking on the phone, or checking facebook or or or. There are a lot of things pulling all of us in a million different directions and almost always the first thing to get dropped when you have a lot  of things to juggle is working out. Like we all forget taking care of ourselves is more important than going on facebook or watching tv.

I used to be good at prioritizing working out, I always found time for it. If my social plans couldn’t be worked around my working out then I changed the social plans, not the work out session. Whereas lately I’ll cut the work out session at the drop of a hat and find a way to make any excuse sound legit. *rolls eyes* Pathetic. 😦

I’m trying to fix this, and I’m hoping this new 30 day challenge will help me. I hate failing and that will help push me to complete the challenge. Also, I am looking at this as work towards training for the 8km I signed up to run, as well as helping me get back in shape for dragon boat season (which starts soon) and just in general helping me feel better about myself. I always feel better about myself when I am living a more active lifestyle but I am a naturally lazy person and have to really fight my lazy nature to get out there and do stuff lol. Since I can do the squats at home I have no excuse to not do them each day and the confidence I will start to feel the farther in to the challenge I get is something to look forward to!…so is the muscle definition! Don’t forget the muscle definition lol Last time I was surprised at how noticeable the change was in my thighs for muscle definition, it’ll be nice to get that back. 🙂

 

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Freaking. Out.

4 Feb

I am freaking out about three different things right now, all completely different, all on different serious-ness levels, and all messing with me, arg!

The first is on a stupid level: I seem to be a bottomless pit today, constant hunger (except for one period of time earlier this evening that I will tell you about farther in to this post), I don’t want to be eating like a crazy person today, but it seems to be a choice between eat more than I think I should be eating or feel starved. Oh and I don’t mean a little nibble “starved” but as I type this my tummy is rumbling and I am at a level of hunger that is super uncomfortable. I am at this level of hunger even though I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner aaaaand a snack three hours or so after dinner. Maybe I should have eaten more protein today, that fills a person up longer, or…what? I don’t know…something…I feel I should have done something throughout the day to prevent this constant hunger buuuut there is only so much food I am willing to eat so I guess I just have to suck it up and deal with feeling hungry. sigh.

By Mr Crocker via Deviant Art

By Mr Crocker via deviantArt

The second things I’m freaking out about is on a fun level: I signed up for the BMO Run, the options were 8km, half marathon or full marathon…I chose the 8km which I know to most will seem like a ridiculously short distance and not even worthy of a person’s time but the most I’ve ever “run” was a 5km and I didn’t run the whole thing, both times I did the 5km I did it with a friend and each time we ended up walking a good chunk of it. I’m excited because I’ve been wanting to run some sort of marathon type thing for a while now but I know I wouldn’t be able to run a half marathon let alone a full marathon cause I am sooooo not a runner lol 8km seems perfect, long enough it will be something to work towards and require me to do some training so I don’t suck on the day but not so long it kills me or I feel like a failure or terrified about not being able to complete it. Despite picking the shortest distance I am still freaking out a bit because like I said, I am not a runner, I don’t know for sure that I can actually do this, what if I suck so badly I can’t finish? That would be mortifying! Plus, I signed up for it alone, which will suck cause I’ll have no one to share the fun of the day with but I really want to try my best for this and if I suck I don’t want to be able to say it was cause the person I was with wanted to walk (or some other type of excuse), how well I do will rest solely on my shoulders…but it won’t be as much fun without a friend to share it with.

8km run bmo

The third thing I am freaking out about is kinda serious but I’m hoping I’ve blown it out of proportion: The doctor’s office called about my x-ray and CT scan results. I forgot my phone at home today, (felt like I was missing a vital piece of my body all day! lol), when I got home I checked my messages and I had one from the doctor’s office saying the doc wanted me to come in today as soon as I could to discuss the CT scan, I was to call them and they would fit me in. Um, what? Don’t they only want you to go in when it is something bad?? So, freak out part one! I called, as soon as I said my name the receptionist knew why I was calling (I’m hoping they were having a quiet day, not that she knows something bad is up and it is so horrifying it burned my name in to her memory…), I told her I forgot my phone and didn’t get her message till then and sorry but there was no way I could get there before the office closed (it was 4:40pm and they close at 5pm). She put me on hold, comes back and says the doc can stay till 6pm if I can get in before then to which I responded I am in the middle of cooking a stir fry so can’t really leave it, could I please go tomorrow? Freak out part two! She’s willing to stay late to see me?? OMG! She puts me on hold again, then comes back and asks if I am feverish (what?? weird!), I said no, so she said ok then tomorrow would be fine. A tad random don’t ya think? So now I have an appointment tomorrow at 4…crap, at 4 something, I can’t believe I forgot the time of the appointment! I’ll have to call them tomorrow to confirm, only me! lol 😛 Anyways! I now have an appointment with the doc tomorrow to talk about my hip and the results of the CT scan and I am freaking out because in my world you only have to go in to discuss test results when it is bad news. 😦 I don’t wanna go. *pout* If I ignore it won’t it go away? And before you say “no it won’t” I already know that cause I am the one sitting here with hip pain which I keep trying to ignore and it keeps not going away, stupid pain. Oh, and to make it worse, the pain is now in both hips not just the right hip, what the hell is going on in there? Stupid hips. sigh.

Stupid hip bones! Grr! by Elcadia on deviantArt

Stupid hip bones! Grr! by Elcadia on deviantArt

I don’t have any idea what might be wrong, which means my brain has been flying off in 20 different directions coming up with all kinds of ridiculous things it could be, none of them are positive of course lol I was so freaked out that after I got off the phone and finished cooking my dinner I stared at it for a while cause I wasn’t hungry, the news actually messed with my appetite, nothing messes with my appetite! Least not to suppress it so ya know I’m worried when I don’t want to eat…I eventually did eat but only because I didn’t want to waste the food, not out of hunger…which is ironic considering I’ve been a bottomless pit all day…

So there we have it, I am in full freaking out mode, mostly about the doctor visit and her level of insistence at seeing me as soon as can be arranged. I keep thinking it’ll end up being nothing serious and this freaking out will be for nothing and I’ll be pissed if I get a wrinkle or white hair from this but then a little part of my brain starts with the “what if it isn’t a little thing” and I’m right back to freaking out.

I think I’ll try to concentrate on the BMO Run, least that is a fun freak out topic…

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Mish-Mash

30 Jan

I (quite unintentionally!) have not written in a couple days and it is driving me nuts! lol Not like some huge life altering thing happened in the last couple days just that I feel weird for having not written…go fig! 😛

So here’s a random mish-mash of thoughts that went through my head lately…

My mail for the day, wtf??

My mail for the day, wtf??

The above shows everything I got in the mail on Monday. W.T.F?!?! All ads for fast food, two are for pizza places, one for Quizno’s (and before you try to say Quizno’s sells subs and is healthy go look at the nutritional information, you might as well be eating at McDonald’s!). Why-oh-why don’t I ever see flyers with coupons in my mailbox for places that sell legit healthy food? Hmm? The ad industry is obviously trying to keep us all fat, *rolls eyes* lol I would go out of my way to use a coupon at a Pita Pit but I’ve never seen a flyer/coupon for them ever...

Which leads me to…Why are all the drive-thru food places only places that sell bad-for-me-food? When I was having all that hip pain I ended up going through a fast food drive thru because I (1) had limited food at home, what I had required being able to stand long enough to prep and cook it and I couldn’t do that (2) had been in the hospital for over five plus hours, was on my home and was really hungry and (3) wasn’t able to bare the pain of getting out of my suv, hobbling around a grocery store and then maneuvering back in to my suv to drive home. The only option for food that I had was various fast food joints that had drive-thru. Subway drive-thru? Nope. (and yes I know they count as fast food but at least you have healthy options there) Pita Pit drive-thru? Nope. Hell, a Booster Juice drive-thru? Definitely nope. Is it because if you are eating somewhere healthy you are supposed to be energetic enough to get out of your car to get your food? That seems discriminatory against people with mobility issues…just sayin…:P

Early Valentine's Day Gift

Early Valentine’s Day Gift

A friend of mine gave me the above slow cooker as an early Valentine’s gift and I am super stoked to use it! I got it Sunday and have yet to take it out of the box cause well, to be honest I haven’t been cooking much on these days off and it seems slow cookers take a bit of fore-thought. Not like pulling out a frying pan, tossing some stuff in it and boom! food! Nooooo, the slow cooker needs me to know in advance what I want to put in it and then use it. I don’t know that I am capable of that! lol 😉 I really wanted to use it before I go to work Friday afternoon cause I’ll be seeing the friend that gave it to me and I wanted a story of the epic meal I made in it but uh, I don’t think that’s really gonna happen…shoot…I should really go google slow cooker recipes, there might still be time?

My agent sent out some sides (that means copy of a script), I am to work on a couple scenes for a specific character, really nail it, then go film it at the office (he has studio space), it is to send to casting agents so they can see what I can do using a more recent script. I’m really psyched about it cause (1) it gives me something to work on not just that I came up with but that has a purpose and (2) shows my agent is planning/plotting/thinking which I loooooove!

My little sister and I met with the trainer again yesterday, makes for two Wednesdays in a row. 🙂 We had physical assessment tests done, he is going to email us our results but I haven’t gotten an email yet. I don’t know that I want to know the results lol I mean, I know how many push-ups I was able to do, and how long I lasted in the cardio-endurance test, I know I scored perfect on balance (which if you know me is funny cause I am always off balance lol) and I know how I did on some of the other things but I don’t think I want to know my body fat %, or my weight, or just how low I scored on my core strength (suuuuper low I am sure!). I just want all that to stay unknown to me and then when I get retested in a couple months or so I want to be told I improved…but specific numbers? That knowledge will just be depressing I think…We had homework for the past week, the food journal, I handed it in but don’t know what he has made of it yet, eek! This week my homework is to keep track of what physical fitness stuff I do and tell him next Wednesday, I feel he’ll be disappointed if I say I did nothing so I’m gonna hafta make sure I get off my ass and do something…

Speaking of getting off ones ass, I had wanted to go running today and had the perfect route! I had to go to work this afternoon for a meeting and thought I’d park at a grocery store then run to work, attend the meeting, and run back to my suv, perfect right?! 🙂 It would have been about 8km total (that’s 5 miles I believe) but it was crap ass weather, pouring rain, and while I was ok with attending the meeting being sweaty I wasn’t ok with attending it looking like a drowned rat. 😦 So that didn’t happen. I am just not a do-stuff-in-the-rain kind of person…unless it is dragon boating but hey, that’s a water sport, I’m gonna get wet anyways lol

I managed to steam a spaghetti squash tonight for the first time ever! Soooo happy it worked! I had to call my mom for some help and she very nicely ensured I didn’t screw it up lol I paired the squash with some feta cheese and a red pepper antipasto, it was ok. I also had a cheese and broccoli stuffed chicken breast which was super yum. 🙂 I took a picture but it doesn’t look good at all so I’ll leave you to your imagination on this one lol. 😛

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