Tag Archives: weight loss

The Long Walk

11 Apr

I walk. Not for exercise, although that is a nice side benny, I walk cause I am trying to save on gas usage in my suv (don’t ya love the irony of a mid-sized suv owner trying to be environmentally friendly? 😛 ), and cause I think having the ability to walk should never be taken for granted. In my old neighbourhood it wasn’t practical, or all that possible, to walk when doing errands cause everything was so far away but here, this neighbourhood, it’s like it was designed so people who live in the neighbourhood could get all their stuff done without ever having to go outside of walking distance. How great is that?

There are times when I have to drive to get my errands done, usually cause I will be carrying something really heavy or I have a massively short time limit to get everything done in but meh, once every now and then (and only when it’s for a legit reason) doesn’t seem soooo bad. Then I have days like today, where I end up driving cause of sheer laziness coupled with poor time management and well, more laziness lol. Hey, don’t judge, everyone has stupidly lazy days! I just happen to have the balls to admit it online…in my fairly anonymous blog…lol 😛

After I got home and was actually thinking about it I realized how dumb I am sometimes lol. I have walked in the rain, in the snow, when the ground is so slippery I was sure I was doomed to getting at least a sprained ankle, when the wind is so strong it actually pushes you back a bit, when it’s really late at night and the crazies/annoying drunk people are out an about…I’ve walked this neighbourhood while doing errands in every type of weather imaginable…well, except for nice weather, I moved here beginning of November so I’ve only experienced winter so far lol. But today, on a lovely spring day where it was warm with a mild breeze and I had the time and physical ability to walk to Safeway, did I walk? Nope. I drove. That whole entire 3 minute drive which is maybe a 10 minute walk? I’ve never actually timed it…that little walk seemed too long today for me to bother with. How lame is that? *rolls eyes*

After the gym and shower and protein shake I made the horrible mistake of sitting down, epic fail right there people! One should never sit down “just for a minute” after just getting outta the shower after being at the gym. Your body is all nice and loose and limber, you’re cozy from the shower, you’re feeling good about your exercising and that maybe you deserve a little rest…this is a recipes for disaster! Disaaaaaster! 

I, instead of getting presentable and going to Safeway, sat down, on a comfy chair, within reach of my laptop…do you see where this is going? I ended up going online and doing all kinds of stuff and then all of a sudden *bam!* it’s hours an hours later, I haven’t had dinner and I still need to go grocery shopping before coming home and doing laundry…isn’t my life just oh so exciting? *rolls eyes*

I almost broke one of the cardinal rules for people trying to follow a strict eating plan and went to Safeway without having had my dinner, oh geez, but never fear, least I didn’t wimp out on that lol. I made a quick dinner and then off I went…in my suv. Why the suv? The weather was still great, still nice and warm, I bet it would have been a lovely walk, buuuuut, I convinced myself the bags would be too heavy to carry all the way back (ya know, those whole freakin 7 blocks, oy!) and that I didn’t want to take too much time because I did still have all that laundry to do…I think I might of even had a third equally lame excuse in my head at the time which has since fled the confines of my brain, pretty much proving what a pathetic “reason” it was lol 😛

In the end, my grocery bags actually were heavy (yogurt was on sale so I got 2, and it was also my almond milk and meat purchasing trip) so it would have sucked to carry the bags back to the apartment, but not like I haven’t carried heavier ones, in worse weather, that same distance before…sigh.

So now, it’s 1:32am and I’m sitting here typing away, feeling a bit lazier then normal, all because I drove 7 blocks instead of walked it. If it wasn’t the time of night it is I’d go for a random walk just to make it up to myself but I am tryyyyyying to get back in to a normal sleep routine so I want to be in bed by 2am at the latest…guess I’ll hafta go for a walk tomorrow as well as have my cardio day at the gym to balance this all out. Ya know, I’m starting to think being lazy always comes back to bite ya in the ass! 😉

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I’ve Been Corrupted!

8 Apr

I feel like a computer program that has some bad code, or a box of crayons that’s missing a couple colours or even a Big Mac without the special sauce – something is not right!

If asked to describe myself I am naturally lazy and my stomach and digestive system can handle eating anything…seriously, anything! You know those people who are all “everytime I eat McDonald’s an hour after I eat I have to go running to the bathroom, or, I have the worst stomach ache, or, I feel so sick/bloated/gross etc” – you know what people I am talking about, the ones that eat something we all know isn’t good for you and their bodies make them feel like crap cause of what they ate but they still eat it? Right, ok, so, I’m not that person, never have been. McDonald’s? Bring it on! Taco Bell/Taco Time? No worries there! Any kind of chocolate/candy/sweet? Gimme more! It never makes me feel gross/sick/in desperate need of a bathroom and I never have any troubles digesting.

Well…apparently something has changed in my innards and I am not impressed. Grr to my changing innards! 😉 I went to a lovely Easter dinner last night at a friend’s family’s place. My friend’s Aunt made a tonne of totally delish food, Mmm! Now, my plan was to eat mostly protein (of whatever variety was made) and have itty bitty amounts of whatever sides happened to be there…I was gonna stick to my eating plan darnit! I would have stuck with that plan except the only protein was a cooked ham *gag* I don’t eat pork in most of it’s varieties and a cooked ham is most definitely one of the ways I won’t touch it, blech. So there went my eating protein for dinner plan lol. I ate only the sides and ended up eating these potatoes that were sliced then baked in the oven with some kind of cream sauce and lots of cheese (holy crap soooo good!), super soft butter buns that were heated up so you could put more butter on them (bread! I got to eat bread! *happy dance*), a spinach salad that was super yum and some mixed veggies. Soooo, my dinner was carbs, carbs, oh and more carbs covered by a home made vinagarette dressing lol. Then of course there was dessert. 😛 I made a Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble and the other dessert was a Kraft recipe that had philly cream cheese, cool whip, graham crackers and coconut, all layered and put in the fridge to set, holy crap it was tasty!

Anyways, my point about the food, I ate a lot of carbs in that meal, then had a bunch of sugar in the dessert, and don’t forget all the random chocolate that was floating around since it was an Easter dinner lol. Normally a meal like that wouldn’t have given me any problems, I’d eat, digest, it’d be all good. Well, um, it was not all good today…*pout* today I feel heavy, and gross, and like my stomach has a rock in it or something…I keep craving some unknown substance that will flush out the sugar and carbs I ate (even though I don’t actually believe in flushes). So I spent my day drinking water and tea and going back to my high protein high healthy fat eating plan. I think, after such a long time without eating high amounts of carbs and sugar my body is struggling to handle the amounts I put in it yesterday…Corruption! 

The second corruption I noticed the other day. You know those people who are all “I get so energized from going to the gym/working out, afterwards I feel like I can do just about anything blah blah blah” Those people! Argh! Those people annoy the fuck outta me! lol I go to the gym, I come home, I have a protein shake and a shower and I want a nap, an 8 hour nap! I’m not energized, I’m exhausted! Working out takes what little energy my body has and uses it all and then I am somehow expected to get through the rest of the day? How do people do that?!?!

Well, after the gym the other day (where I had a greeeat workout) I made my protein shake, drank it (duh) and was heading for the shower when I realized I was kinda dancing/bouncing…what the…?? Nothing too extreme or anything but definitely more then my normal walk…and I had a realization…I was…energized…Energized! How did that happen?? As soon as I realized it I came to a complete stop and tried to figure out exactly what and why I was feeling like that. What was I thinking about? Was I just really happy about whatever was floating through my brain and that had me dancing? (hey, don’t judge, that happens lol) Was I listening to music? Nope. Was I having a nervous system spasm and it wasn’t really dancing but some kind of muscle freakout? Didn’t appear to be…So, what was causing this energy and dancing? I’m still not completely sure what it was but I worry it was, *shuffles feet* feeling good about my workout and that feeling good combined with some sort of freak energy burst that came about also due to the workout…I think *clears throat* I became that person who got energized from working out…I’m not sure how I feel about this one…except…Corruption!

My very being has been corrupted by extended healthy eating habits and extended (and often) exercise habits to change my lazy-able-to-digest-any-kind-of-crap-I-put-in-to-it-body into a…into a what? I’m still not sure…into a body that likes to exercise? Prefers to have healthy food put in to it?

I’m gonna admit, it’s freakin me out a bit…you can’t spend a bunch of years as one way and then not freak out a bit when you realize you’re changing and becoming something else…what will I become? What colour crayons were taken out of the box that is me? Will I miss those colours? What if I need them back? Will I still be me? I mean, a Big Mac isn’t a Big Mac without the special sauce right? So whatever it is that is changing in me, will I still be me even though something is missing/changed?

Guess I’ll find out…

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A Day Of Thwartation

25 Mar

Ok, so sure, technically ‘thwartation’ isn’t a word, ya know, in the dictionary sense of what is a word but hey, I make up words all the time so going by my rules, if I use the word then it is a word…and who wants to only use words that are technically words, that’d be so boring! 😛

I’m not a huge going out drinking partying type of girl, I go out, don’t get me wrong, I have fun with friends and do my thang but that doesn’t usually include hitting up nightclubs every weekend in a month…that is for when you are in your late teens early twenties, somewhere around 25 I figured out I wasn’t having as much fun as I used to and I moved away from that being my regular social scene. You’d never know that though judging by this month! Last weekend was St. Patrick’s Day so I was out partying for that, took a whole day and a half to properly recover lol. Then this past Friday I was out doing the hotel party and bar scene in honour of a friend’s birthday, didn’t need quite as much time to recover from that one, phew! 😉 Aaaand next weekend I am going to my roomie’s berlesque show and I am fairly certain after the show we will all be hitting up a bar or two to celebrate her awesomeness.  Can I say how much this is screwing up my eating plan?!?! Oy!

Not only is it messing up my eating plan but this weekends festivities also messed up my gym time, and that I am just not happy with!

On Friday I was s’posed to workout with NC but plans changed and we ran out of time so we ended up seeing The Hunger Games and then he had to go to work and I had to go get ready to go out. I ate a whopping half an apple that day, pathetic huh? I know a lot of girls that when going out somewhere in the evening that requires dressing up they will severely limit their food intake that day to ensure they look good in their outfit that night, come on, admit it, you do it to don’t cha? I know I sure as hell do, I’ve been doing that since high school lol. Well, I mentioned to NC on Friday I was thinking of not eating that day to compensate for the calories I’d be taking in that night in the form of alcohol…apparently that is one of the dumbest things he’s ever heard me say…he needs to hang around me more often cause I’m sure I say way dumber things on almost a daily basis 😉 lol He says you should still eat normally even if you know you’re going to be eating or drinking something not good for you eating plan wise cause it’s not just about calories per day, you have to look at it on a weekly basis…I will admit, I’m having lotsa trouble with that, I keep looking at my food on a daily basis, hmmm, something to work on I guess, sigh.

Anyways, sure there are a lot of calories in alcohol but there is no good stuff in there, so yeah, sure, drink a beer, get your 148 calories (if it’s a Corona) but where are your proteins? Carbs? Healthy fats? Where’s all the nutrients and vitamins and all that other stuff that your body needs to function and stay healthy? Sure as shit it’s not in that beer you just downed. So it’s better to eat your food that day and have the beer on top of that instead of skipping your food and just drinking the beer. Cause sure, if you eat and drink the beers you’re gonna go over your calories but at least you haven’t skipped meals and impaired your body’s ability to metabolize, repair itself, lose weight, build muscle and blah blah blah. That’s where the weekly view point comes in to play. You need your macronutrient levels for the week to be good, not just your calories for the day. Make sense? Kinda? Take your time to wrap your head around it, I’m still working on it. lol.

So Friday I grabbed a sandwich from Tim Horton’s on my way home to get ready to go out, had to inhale the stupid (and yet oh so yummy) thing cause I was running way late, oops! Even though a sandwich isn’t the healthiest and closest to my eating plan meal I could have had it was the best I could manage since I didn’t have time to cook. This means that Friday, I ate half an apple, one Timmy’s sandwich, and ok fine, I’ll admit it, one Timmy’s maple cookie (so sue me, maple flavour is in right now and it’s my fave and I was freakin starving!), then I went out and drank. 😛  Not as much as I could have, or even wanted to cause I wanted to make sure I was sobered up by the end of the night so I could drive home, damn having to be responsible! 😉 The night started and ended at the hotel so while everyone was back at the hotel after the club getting even more wasted I was drinking pop and eating a couple slices of pizza and doing my best to sober up, which I did quite well thank you very much. 😛 lol The pizza however, didn’t help my calories for the day or my macronutrients for the week I am sure! But holy crap was it tasteeeeeee. Mmm!

Then Saturday I slept in, shocking huh? In my defence i didn’t get to bed till like 6am so sleeping in was really just getting me my normal amount of sleep…that’s my story an I’m sticking to it! lol. I had plans for that night so I had to get my butt in gear, I went and did some errands, walking instead of driving, so I could get some air and some movement since I’d been out of it for so long that day I didn’t hit up the gym. I however did manage to, get this, brace yourself…eat…healthy! When hungover! That is a minor miracle if ever there was one! lol. For me, the day after drinking is like a day out of life, I eat whatever I want (which is usually not a lot of food but it will be something way bad for me) and I do almost nothing physically, I kinda baby my body. Well on Saturday, instead of eating bad for me stuff I ate my half a chicken breast with a half a potato, and my yummy protein shake (uh, not in that order) and drank water instead of pop. I was so proud! Felt a little strange, but a good strange, ya know? Then that night I was at the Keg with JB and we split some nachos and I got a bellini so um, oops? I also didn’t get any exercise that day, except for my walking, cause of my whole recovering and feeling like crap for a good chunk of the day thing. I was sorta ok with this though cause Sunday is my normal day off from the gym but I was gonna hit it up to make up for not going Friday or Saturday and that would mean I really only missed one day last week and I’d feel not soooo bad about that. 🙂

It was a decent plan, right? I sure think it was but um, yeah, totally didn’t happen. I slept in on Sunday, *rolls eyes* you’re seriously not used to that yet? lol And when I got to the gym they had closed, I got there 5 minutes after they closed! Ack! Soooooo annoying! I’d of preferred if they had closed way earlier instead of me just missing it, sigh. So thwarted for exercising, damn! Well, I also had to go to the docs so off I went there and they had a sign saying that due to government regulations about how many patients a doc can see in a day the doc can’t see anymore patients today cause they’d reached their max. Uh, What??? The doc’s office didn’t close for another 5 hours but they weren’t taking any more patients? Who came up with that system? Lame! Thwarted again!

Seriously, a day of thwartation, ugh. On the heels of two days of eating not horrendously but not properly and with no exercising…Crap! And tomorrow is weigh in day…*bangs head against wall* I was doing so well during the week but this weekend totally undid all that work…the scale tomorrow is gonna suck! …and the gym probably will too after being away for three days *groans* Wish me luck, I’m gonna need it! lol 😛

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Harder Then Usual

22 Mar

Do you ever have a day where your energy is lower than normal and you just have no motivation to do anything, let alone exercise? That was me today, blerg.

I’m not sure what happened…I woke up, had no energy, but hey, its morning who has energy in the morning? Only crazy people that’s who! lol I figured I’d be fine once I ate but no-go with that. I ate, waited a half hour, went to the gym and I swear I thought I was gonna fall off the treadmill when running my sprints – now that would have been embarrassing! 😛

Normally my cardio days are my “better days” at the gym, not because I’m necessarily better at cardio then weights it’s more that at least on cardio days I know for sure what I’m doing and am not worrying about my form or forgetting something. Plus, I’m not having to deal with the funny looks from the guys in the free weight area who always start off smirking at me like it’s a joke I’m lifting weights and then turn to contemplation as they realize I’m using 20lbs weights for some of my moves and seem to actually know what I’m doing. *rolls eyes*

But today, even as I started on the treadmill I knew it was gonna be hard, my yawning was a good indication of that lol and the fact that getting my legs to move at even a light warm-up jog pace was seriously hard work.

Here’s what I do when running on cardio days:

I jog for 3 minutes to warm up at 4 mph, then I sprint for 30 seconds at a pace of  9 mph, then I go back to jogging at 4 mph for 1.5 minutes, then I sprint at 9 mph for another 30 seconds…it keeps repeating like that but eventually my sprints get up to a speed of 9.5 mph. After I have sprinted 8 times I cool down. In total I’m on the treadmill for 20 minutes – not too shabby, right? Well, every cardio day I have to do better then the cardio day prior, on Monday I did 4 sprints at 9 mph and 4 sprints at 9.5 mph so today I should have done 4 at 9 mph, 3 at 9.5 mph and 1 at 10 mph but it soooo didn’t happen. 😛 Since I was really having to push to stay on the treadmill at 9.5 mph I was certain if I upped the speed on the last sprint I’d be screwed…and embarrassed when I fell…and possibly injured. 😉

I was mad at myself when I got off the treadmill, mad I wasn’t able to somehow magically push myself to do that final sprint at a speed of 10 mph, mad I almost didn’t make it through the last sprint at 9.5 mph, mad that instead of enjoying the run like I usually do my head was filled with negative thoughts about how tired I was, how I just couldn’t do this today, how I felt like I was gonna throw up, how I should just skip the run cause hey, nobody will know, *rolls eyes* Sure, if nobody asked me how my run went nobody would know if I skipped it, except…I would know, and talk about screwing myself up for next cardio day…if I can’t make it through my run today then on Friday I’d have that in my head, the mentality that I can’t do it anymore, it’s too much for me, I’m too slow or too weak or too lazy or too fat or too something and then not only would I be working to keep pace with the treadmill I’d be fighting an even harder battle against my own brain and it’s negative thoughts – I’m not sure that’s a battle I know I can win.

NC says a big part of pushing yourself at the gym is getting past all the bullshit in your head, pushing past what your brain says is your limit, he also says the days you don’t want to go are the days you have to go. Anybody can work out on a day they feel great, have loads of energy and are psyched for it. But to go and push yourself in the gym on a day where the planets aren’t all perfectly aligned and you’re not in the perfect place/mood to exercise, those are the days that show you what you can make yourself do, that’s when you see your strength and get past your mental blocks.

I don’t know that I actually got past a mental block today, I barely made it through that last sprint, and since I didn’t up the speed I feel like a bit of a failure, at the same time, I know if I had upped the speed I wouldn’t have made it through the entire 30 second sprint, so, isn’t it better to do the sprint at 9.5 and do the entire 30 seconds instead of go at a speed of 10 but only make it to say 15 seconds? Although! Maybe that’s my mental block? Maybe if I had pushed it to 10 I would have found some deep well of energy or perseverance or pig-headedness that would have helped me force my way through the 30 seconds, crap, now I really wish I’d tried the 10 mph…

I’m not sure why I bottomed out today energy wise, I have been eating according to my food plan this week, no cheating! Yah! Which means I’m getting lots of protein (119.9g today), a decent amount of fat (47.9g today), low-ish carbs (113.4 g today, ok fine, higher then they should be by 13.4 grams, so shoot me! 😛 ), I’m staying hydrated, I’m following all the rules so, what gives? If following the rules means I’m gonna lose all my energy mid week and suck at cardio then I’m screwed cause as we all know from my performance at the gym today, I’m not so great at pushing through to new achievements when I have no energy, is anybody? Maybe I’m just extraordinarily lazy, well ok, yeah I am, but I mean even more lazy then even I realized – which would be scary lol 😀

I just don’t know, I’m kinda at loose ends about what happened, about why I tanked out energy wise, about why I didn’t force myself to try the 10 mph. Sure, it’s easy to blame the not running at 10 mph on the whole no energy thing, but is that a cop out? Could I have done it if I’d tried and not let myself convince myself I wouldn’t be able to do it? I know when I was on the treadmill running, coming up to that last sprint I knew without a doubt I couldn’t run it at 10 mph, that I didn’t have enough left in me to make it…but now that it is hours later I’m filled with self doubt…I hate self doubt, it’s such a downer. 😛

Guess I’ll just have to push even harder on Friday (my next cardio day) and see if I can make it to 10 mph that day, no! Not see if I can! I Can! I will make it! Look out 10 mph, you’re miiiiine! (maybe if I start psyching myself up for it now it’ll be easier to overcome the mental block on Friday? lol 😉 )

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Chicken For Breakfast?

21 Mar

I write this while sitting on a uber comfy living room chair, laptop on my lap (shocking place for it huh? lol) with my left arm pinned to my body by my roomie’s cat…oh, and don’t go thinking my right arm is free to do as it pleases, there is a paw resting on my arm with claws lightly touching my skin – those claws start to actually sink into my skin whenever the cat decides he needs a little scratch behind his ears or a cuddle…I’m pretty sure he’s training me…and what’s sad is it’s working!

Last week I went in to my bedroom, turned on the light and started looking in my dresser for a shirt when I glanced over at my bed and saw the cat laying along the edge of my pillow, head raised glaring at me since obviously my entering my room had disturbed him…wanna know what I did/said? I apologized! Yup, that’s right, first words outta my mouth were “oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were sleeping” then I gave him a little cuddle. I’m pretty sure he smirked at me and then cracked a whip. *shakes head*

What do these stories have to do with my weight loss? Absolutely nothing, lol, just thought you’d enjoy them. 😉

To the food! I am trying to increase the amount of protein I eat per day since it’s an area I have always sucked at. It’s not that I don’t like meat, I am definitely not a vegetarian, it’s just, well, I don’t like cooking meat – it’s icky, and I always think I am going to poison myself lol. With all the exercise I am doing now I really need to make sure I get enough protein per day to keep building my muscles and supply my body with energy so this means I have to actually cook and eat more meat, sigh.

At first I was eating fish steaks, bought from M&M’s Meat Shop, they are individually packaged, wild salmon, have a variety of sauce flavours, so easy to cook even I can do it, yummy, cheap and healthy…so all around an excellent choice! 🙂 However, you can’t eat fish everyday, one reason is tastebud boredom and the other is…um, hmm…I’m sure there is another reason, an actual foodie reason, something about mercury or fat or something…I dunno, I don’t feel like googling right now, so let’s stick with tastebud boredom, you can’t eat the same thing everyday, you’d get bored super fast and find yourself cheating on your eating plan!

To switch it up I bought chicken, I buy the boxes of frozen chicken breasts that are already flavoured so all I hafta do is throw em in the oven, wait about 40 minutes and boom! Meat! Cooked meat! It’s like a freakin miracle everytime I cook it lol 😉 They also come in a variety of flavours, are healthy, not quite as cheap but I buy em when they are on sale so that helps and easy to cook. 🙂

Normally I eat my chicken or fish for dinner, cause well, that’s what society taught me is normal…we eat toast or cereal or oatmeal or coffee or something else similar for brekkie, a sandwich or something fast food like for lunch, some form of meat with veggies and potatoes or rice for dinner, and something sweet for  dessert…I mean, that is how we roll in North America, right? But who says we have to follow those rules? Why can’t people eat soup for brekkie, or a sandwich? And don’t we all love having pancakes for dinner every now and then? It’s like we’re ok with shifting some foods around and considering it a treat but not others…weird huh?

Since I no longer eat any of those foods I listed for the standard brekkie options I have had to change how I eat. My breakfast now is a protein shake and half a piece of fruit (today it was an apple) then an hour later I usually have an egg, 2 slices of turkey bacon, 2 slices of tomato and the other half of the fruit. Can I tell you how bored I was getting with that? Not only bored but kinda grossed out by eating turkey bacon every freakin day. I used to have turkey bacon maaaaybe twice a month, it was a treat, something to have on a weekend when I slept in and was making brunch but now, having it daily, it’s starting to become more and more a food I want to avoid – which is not good when it’s an easy way to get some morning protein, eek! So today I switched things around – ooooh I’m so daring! 😉 teehee

I had my protein shake and half an apple and while I was getting that all ready I put a Cajun flavored chicken breast in the oven, yeah, Cajun for breakfast was a little odd but it was either that or BBQ lol. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to actually eat it when the time came, I’m ridiculously picky about my first meal of the day, I have an over sensitive stomach 😛 but it was actually good. I had half the chicken breast, one egg, and some cheese (I melted the cheese on the chicken to try to counter act some of the spicyness – fyi, it didn’t really work)

I was quite happy with my chicken breakfast and even happier when at dinner time all I had to do was heat up the other half of the chicken breast instead of wait the full 40 minutes for it to cook. 🙂 lol

I hit a record high (for me) amount of protein for the day, I managed to get 122.3 grams. Now yes, a big part of that is because I have two protein shakes a day but I am also making food choices that provide me with natural protein. So the chicken, the egg, I had some peanut butter on a celery stick for a snack, some pistachios, cottage cheese…things like that, they all add up. No worries, I also have veggies and fruit during the day but today’s post is about protein lol.

I don’t know that I’ll want half a chicken breast for breakfast everyday, if I do that I’m sure I’ll start looking at the chicken breast the same way I’m starting to look at the turkey bacon so I’m going to have to start of thinking of alternatives…crap, more work! 😛 I miss the days of eating a bowl of cereal or having some toast, breakfast used to be the easiest meal of the day, and my favourite, now it’s the most finicky and my least favourite, so weird how these things can change on us huh?  😛

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Oh St. Patty’s Day

18 Mar

Alrighty, who had an awesome St. Patrick’s Day? er…Night? lol Mine was fairly sweeeet but oh how it unhinged my eating plan, eek! I’m trying not to freak out about it but since I had those two days this past week where I wasn’t feeling well so my eating was off and I missed one exercise day (also due to not feeling well) I’m really worried about having to step on the scale tomorrow.

Ah geez, I just realized that even thinking about the scale has made my face grimace, how attractive *rolls eyes*

I went out with my roomie, her brother and a bunch of friends to a bar called Joe’s Apartment, a little too hipster for me but all the so-called Irish Pubs were crazy full way early in the evening and hey, we had a connection to Joe’s so we got in without waiting in line and only paid half the cover charge…which incidentally I didn’t have to pay at all as the roomie’s bro picked up my tab, nice huh?

There was a live band that I never did catch the name of but they were excellent and inbetween their sets the dj played a good mix of tunes. I felt a bit old at one point though cause the dj played a small portion of the song Step By Step by the New Kids On The Block (this is a song from when I was in elementary) and my roomie had no idea who it was, I can’t remember who she was guessing it was but I remember being shocked that (a) it was being played at all and (b) she didn’t recognize it…just goes to show how a couple years difference in age can really affect what people remember from their childhood lol.

Sadly, I did not drink any green beer, I had fully intended to but I couldn’t bring myself to let the Guinness be touched by food colouring and well, the other drinks I had (a) I didn’t order, the roomie’s bro did and (b) weren’t really conducive to being turned green…I mean come on, a green Corona? Ick. 😉

BW (that’s my roomie, I’m just sick of typing ‘roomie’ lol) and I left about 1:30am cause we had to make sure to catch the last bus going back to our area, on the way home this guy whose her friend but who also kinda likes her texted and somehow ended up inviting him and his buddy to our place so we were home maybe 5 minutes when they showed up and we all stayed up partying until about 6:30a when we all started to crash where we sat…it wasn’t a pretty sight. lol.

Now, I had anticipated all the alcohol that would be going in to my system and although I hadn’t done anything crazy over the top to compensate for those calories I thought I might do ok buuuuuut, here’s where things went a bit downhill eating wise. I got home from the gym, didn’t think we’d be going out till maybe 8p or 9p but BW’s bro picked us up early, I think around 5:30p or so, not good for my timing! I only had time to have my yummy protein shake with all the fruit etc in it and then I had to rush to get ready so no actual dinner for moi. Oops number one. Then! When we were at the bro’s apartment we pre-drank with the group we were hanging out with that night so both BW and I were drinking on what amounted essentially to empty stomachs…I learned that BW gets drunk quickly when this happens lol We both wanted to go somewhere with food…I was fantasizing about nachos lol, but we ended up going right to the bar, after we got stamped and knew we’d be allowed back in without waiting in line we left and went to find food, at that time of night though, in that location and with such a limited amount of time we ended up with pizza, ya know, from those places that sell it by the slice? sigh. Oops number two. We each got two slices, I have no idea why I got two, who needs two?!?! But two I got, one pepperoni and one veggie (and oh man, the veggie one was grrrrreat!) Then back to the bar and the alcohol *happy silly grin* We did spend the night dancing up a storm so I’m going to pretend that burned a lot of calories lol

I might have been ok if after we came home we’d just gone to bed but when the guys came over we all ended up staying up and the munchies set in so I ate some cookies and some chocolate flake, oy! Oops number three. I ate more cookies then I wanted cause by that time I was craving sushi but like there’s an open sushi place at 3am? Uh, no, no there isn’t. Epic fail on the part of sushi restaurants everywhere I say lol 😉 Least at this point I stopped drinking, well, I was drinking water which doesn’t count. My two wins of the night were the dancing and the stopping of drinking when I did cause without those two actions it woulda been waaaaay worse! 😛

Today (sunday) has been a recovery day lol I slept for a while then basically did nothing. I was wanting pancakes more then a cat wants to catch a mouse so I got pancakes from this all day breakfast restaurant relatively near my place. I figured the walk to get the food would do me good, and it did. 🙂 I got the short stack which is three pancakes and brought em home, and wow they were yum! I unfortunately ate without really thinking about it though and where I would normally of stopped at one pancake, maybe one and a half, I actually ate all three, ugh, so then I felt even worse then before and spent even more time doing nothing. Well, drinking water, but again, that doesn’t count lol.

Eventually my system sorted itself out and tomorrow I’ll be back on track but I’m soooo dreading that scale! What do you bet it shows a weight gain??!?!? All my hard work down the drain! 😦

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Not Sick But Not Well

16 Mar

You know that weird in between spot where you aren’t sick enough to be sick (and get sympathy and pity and special treatment from people 😉 ) but you’re not exactly well either so you’re just not up to doing your normal daily stuff and you kinda wanna crawl back in to bed and stay there?

Well, that’s me, I’ve been there for the past couple days, it’s sooooooo annoying! I woke up Wednesday super late (even for me! lol) and my first conscious thought was “oh no, I so don’t feel good, ugh.” All I wanted to do was go back to sleep but then I’d actually be literally sleeping the day away so up I got. I had no appetite, something that always happens to me when I am sick, and my throat hurt. Not hurt enough that I sounded weird or needed some sort of throat medicine crap but hurt as in I was way more aware of my throat then I should be. I thought for sure I am getting sick, I have all the early warning signs and well crap, how much does that suck??

My newest line of defence against getting/being sick is taking Airborne…ever heard of it? It’s this big ass pill you dissolve in 6oz of water and then chug it back, it comes in two different flavours, neither of which actually taste good, hence the chugging lol. It’s loaded up with zinc, iron, echinacea…all kinds of good for your body things. The pharmacist recommended it to me last christmas time when I was desperate to find something to help me not catch anything over the holidays, she said the Airborne thing boosts your immune system to prevent you from catching anything and if you’ve already caught something it’ll help battle it so you get rid of it sooner. So far Airborne has not steered me wrong. Everytime I start feeling sick I take it (twice a day) and I don’t get severely sick, I sorta linger in that kinda-sick world for a day or two then I get better, and hey, who doesn’t love that? lol

Back to Wednesday, I was so not feeling well and when that happens I just don’t eat but I had lots of stuff I had to do. I decided to skip the gym cause how can I go running (it was a cardio day) when I haven’t eaten anything and I have no energy? Can’t right? Right! I was working hard to make sure I felt no guilt about this decision lol. But get this, by about 8:45pm I was feeling well, not guilt exactly, but weird for having not gone to the gym, I still had stuff I had to do at home (things that had an actual deadline) but what did I do? I changed my clothes and hightailed it to the gym so I could squeeze in a run and some ab work and some stretching before they closed…a sure sign I was sick! 😉 When I got home I got a text from NC seeing if I wanted to chill which I did so I left all the stuff I had to do at home, lol, deadlines be damned! I can deal with it tomorrow! (aren’t I a great procrastinator? lol) got ready and went out. I managed to squeeze in my protein shake (the yummy one with all the fruit an stuff) after I got home from the gym and before I went out so at least I got some nutrients that day, other then that all I’d eaten was a pear, um, 3 chocolate chip cookies (I had been baking), some cookie dough batter (cause duh, who doesn’t eat the batter? lol) and my morning protein shake (the gross one that is just the powder and water)…not a lot of fuel huh?

Thursday was almost as bad, sigh. I got up early cause all that stuff I put off doing the evening before I had had had to do that morning as early as possible, I hate mornings. Unfortunately I still felt sick and my throat was doing worse, sigh. I got a tea to get me through my running around and I will admit, I caved and also got a hot cross bun, oh yum! and I got them to warm it up so holy crap was it gooooood. *smile of bliss just remembering how tasty it was* after I was done my errands (all done on time thank goodness, phew!) I went home and thought vaguely of going to the gym but had even less energy then the day before so I knew at that point it sure wasn’t happening. Instead I snacked oh so badly on some bakery goodies we had in the apartment, yeah yeah, I know! then I watched a cartoon (I like watching cartoon movies when I don’t feel well lol) and tried desperately to nap. Do you know how hard it is to nap when you are an insomniac??? It’s freakin hard! Eventually the roomie and her daughter came home so my attempt at napping went out the window lol. I made what I usually eat for brekkie (one egg, 2 slices of turkey bacon and 2 slices of tomato) and thought again briefly about going to the gym but even as I thought it I knew it wasn’t gonna happen. Which kinda sucks cause it was a weight training day and I like those but some days you just gotta let your body have a break and take a chance to get better ya know? Least, that’s what I think…Later that evening I also made my protein shake (the yummy one of course lol) cause I figured I wasn’t hungry but I could probably manage to drink the shake and that way I’d get a lot of vitamins etc…I never used to think like that lol.

I feel I should explain the hot cross bun and the bakery slip up…when I am sick I don’t eat, I just have no interest in food and can’t be bothered. I know this about myself so when I feel myself starting to get sick I tend to eat say a donut or something even when I know I shouldn’t cause I know it’ll probably be the only thing I eat that day. I figure better get as many calories in as possible per food item since I will barely be eating anything…does that make sense? Probably not lol 😛

Today I am feeling a bit better, my throat doesn’t hurt as much, I’m still taking my Airborne and well, I don’t have any energy back yet but I’m gonna blame that on two days of crap eating lol. I forced myself to go to the gym, had my cardio day, thought I might fall off the back of the treadmill cause it was a bit harder today then normal (I’m thinking cause I hadn’t eaten properly for two days so didn’t have a lot of stored energy? that’s really a guess, I have no idea lol) But I ate properly today, even though my appetite isn’t quite back to normal, I ate my morning protein shake, my fruit, my egg and turkey bacon and tomato slices, even had half a chicken breast and 2/3cups of mixed veggies, oh and of course my yummy protein shake after the gym lol. So hopefully that’ll make tomorrows exercise easier *crossing fingers*

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I’m A Runner?!

14 Mar

The weirdest thing happened at the gym last week, yeah yeah I know, it happened last week and I’m only now relaying the story? What’s with that?! Remember all those posts where I mentioned what a lazy ass I am? There ya go, that is your explanation – notice I am so lazy I didn’t even have to type out a full explanation? I just let your critical thinking and problem solving skills take care of all of the work for me lol  😉

Anyways! The weird thing. Hmm, first you need a bit of an explanation of the layout of my gym, it’s actually a Rec Centre (not that that should matter but I guess some people are gym snobs, and all I have to say to that is Really? You are proud you pay more then me per month for your sweat location? Whatever! lol) So, because it’s a Rec Centre they have the workout equipment spread through out a bunch of rooms, it’s kinda annoying cause it’s almost impossible to complete your workout in just one room, and well, I’m lazy, remember? Most of the cardio machines are in one room, there are 4 treadmills, 3 elipticals, 2 rowing machines, about 4 upright bikes and 3 reclining bikes, 2 steppers and, um, I think that’s it. The rest of that room is filled with some weight machines and a little free weight section. This means when I go to do cardio I’m usually in that room but every now and then all the machines are filled up and since according to my new work out regime I’m currently only using the treadmill for my cardio if all the treadmills are taken well I’m kinda screwed, and annoyed lol. There is however a room mostly devoted to spin classes but around the perimeter of the room there are 2 treadmills and a couple other cardio machines, they are kinda hidden and a lot of people don’t like using the machines in that room cause the spinners are all snobby about being in spin class and shoot you snotty looks if you go and use a piece of equipment in there while they are in class…uh hello, focus on your own workout there buddy instead of glaring at me for trying to do mine! harumph!  😉

Something else about spinners is that they get to class ridiculously early and instead of resting, or stretching or something in preparation they actually climb up on to the bike and start peddling, at a totally decent pace, I don’t understand how they don’t get worn out before the class starts since some of them are sitting there peddling for a good half hour or more before the class – I tell ya, spinners are a special breed lol. 😛 Anyways, I was having to use a treadmill in the spinning room cause all the other ones were in use and spinning class was only about 5 minutes from starting so there were a lot of people sitting on the bikes. I had to walk past some of them to get to the sign up sheet on the wall for the treadmill and due to the angle I suppose it could have kinda looked as if I was walking towards the front of the class. Well, this lady who is (I am assuming) new to spinning asked me a question as I passed by, I had my earbuds in and music blasting so I took out an earbud and asked her to repeat herself. She asked me how to use the screen and buttons for the bike, like I would know? I stared at her blankly for a couple seconds and then without my even thinking about what I was going to say the words “oh, I’m not a biker, I’m a runner, I have no idea how to use the controls on your spin bike, sorry.” came out of my mouth…

Uh…”I’m a runner“??????? What in blue blazes is with that??? I’m not a freakin runner! Sure, I use the treadmill, and yes technically I run on it but…I’m not a runner…runners are lean, and in shape, and well…really lean and in shape and I’m not either of those things. Nobody would use either of those words to describe me, not in a million years! And yet, somehow, that sentence came out of my mouth.

As I continued walking to the sign up sheet my mind was boggling at what my mouth had just said, I was waiting for someone to point at me and denounce my claim to be a runner but nobody did lol. Then, as I was walking back past the lady who asked me for help I heard her talking to the person next to her and she was saying how she had thought I was the instructor and that’s why she asked me for help…What?!?!?! Me?? The spin instructor??? Uh, they are ridiculously in shape (well, all the ones I have seen are), how the heck did that lady think I was a spin instructor?? It’s like the world got shifted on its axis that day. lol

I have to admit, it made me feel good about myself and my weight loss that some random stranger thought I could be a spin class instructor cause well, duuuude, that’s gotta mean I’m looking kinda fit right? Course, when the real spin instructor came in I looked like the most out of shape person ever in comparison so I’m sure that lady who asked me for help will never make that kind of mistake again, not now that she knows what a real spin instructor looks like lol 😛 But hey, I’ll take the unintended compliment anyday. 😀

Like I said, that happened last week and since then I keep pondering this whole ‘being a runner thing’. I mean, could I be a runner? What is the definition of being a runner? Do you have to run a certain distance or a certain speed a certain amount of times a week to be considered a runner? I dunno…and while I suppose I could google the question and get an answer I’m not sooooo curious I’m about to sort though a bunch of Yahoo! answers lol. I think…and I could be way off base here…but I think I just might be turning in to a runner…not a professional one of course, but a semi-decent non professional runner. I can get some fairly decent speed, and every time I run I go a bit faster, I’m running 3 times a week, well until this week where now it will be 6 times a week and I dunno, to me that seems to indicate I’m turning in to a bit of a runner, what do you think?

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A Couple Weeks A Couple Pounds…Almost…

8 Mar

So I’ve been on the new eating and exercise plan for a couple weeks now (like my title suggests lol) and I’ve lost 1.8 pounds, which doesn’t sound all that impressive but since the goal is 1 pound a week I’m almost right on target, so yah? My current dilemma is that NC said he could help me lose 20 pounds in 2 months but if I am only losing 1 pound a week well…even I know that math doesn’t add up! Anybody out there have some wicked awesome math skills that make that work? Maybe a snazzy calculator that fudges results a little bit? Something? Anything?…no, I didn’t think so lol

I’m not really too upset about the 1 pound a week thing, I mean yes I would rather be losing more per week cause I am totally a need-to-see-results kinda girl but hey, I have been plateaued for freakin ever and in only two weeks the plateau has stopped, technically really, the plateau stopped being a plateau after the first week since I lost 1.2 pounds the first week, so yah for no more plateau! 🙂

Here’s how a typical food day goes:

Upon first rising have a protein shake and half a piece of fruit (say half an apple or pear or whatever)

Approximately an hour later have breakfast, some sort of protein (I have 2 slices of turkey bacon), an egg (did you know you destroy all the good nutritional benefits of an egg if you cook the yolk? so now I eat them sunny side up with a runny yolk, yum!) and the other half of that piece of fruit you cut up earlier…I also have a glass of water but that’s not technically part of the eating plan, it’s just cause I like to stay hydrated lol

Here is where I go exercise…

After getting home from the gym I have a protein shake but this one is yummy cause it has one scoop of protein powder, half a banana, half cup of frozen fruit (I alternate between just blueberries or having mixed berries), half cup non flavoured sweetened yogurt from Activia, one cup almond milk (don’t even get me started on how much I miss milk from a cow, milking an almond is just so wrong! lol) , and one teaspoon of something called NutraSea +D (it’s to get me some much needed healthy fats, my omega 3)

An hour or two later I have dinner, some form of protein (say a half a chicken breast or a fish fillet) and some veggies (usually 2/3C mixed frozen veggies but it can be other veg, it’s all dependent on preference)

Then a couple hours after that, or whenever I start to feel hungry, I have a salad, mixed greens that I add cucumber and half a cut up pepper to, if I had half the chicken breast for dinner I put the remaining half on my salad, if I had fish for dinner then I’ll have half a cup of cottage cheese or a serving of marble cheese with the salad, just something to get a bit of protein and make it a bit more filling.

Then right before bed, literally it’s the last thing I do before going and washing up is have a couple spoonfuls of either some yogurt or some cottage cheese, just something little like that to help keep your body from freaking out about being starved to death while you are sleeping lol.

Sounds like a lot huh? And it is…and yet it isn’t lol. I have a goal of almost 1500 calories a day for my food intake, this compensates for my daily exercise and with all the math done will result in my losing a pound a week and not starving while doing it. Also, I need all that protein and well, food in general, to keep my body fueled up and able to deal with the exercise without it deciding to use my muscles as fuel thereby taking away my ability to get in shape in a healthy way. My problem is that not once have I been able to reach my caloric goal, not once!! How insane is that? Even on days I splurge and get a hot chocolate or eat some sushi or have a piece of chocolate (hey, I’m a girl, I have chocolate needs that can’t be denied lol) I still don’t manage to reach my calorie goal of almost 1500.

Any other day I would be able to honestly write that I am not feeling hungry, or deprived or anything negative and that I don’t really think I need all those calories despite what NC and all the books I am reading say buuuuut well, today I am freakin starved! lol I don’t know what it is! I ate all my food like I am supposed to, even my night time salad which normally I kinda skip cause it’s just too much food but here it is a little after midnight and I could so go for a meal right now, sigh. I am not going to have a meal cause well, hello, it’s a little after midnight, it’s a weird time to be eating and I have to try to get some sleep soon since I have to be up in the morning but that doesn’t mean I don’t want something to eat lol. Despite my hunger pains tonight let me reassure you I am not starving myself, I am not denying myself food in an effort to get thin, it’s driving NC a little nuts I think that I am not eating more but I’m not gonna force myself to eat when I am not hungry, that just doesn’t make any sense to me, does it make sense to you?

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A New Beginning

24 Feb

Just Do It!

 

I am leaving Weight Watchers…yes, you read that correctly. Although, since I never officially joined, just did the program on my own I guess I’m not “officially” leaving them since well, how can you leave something you were never really a part of?

I learned a lot from Weight Watchers and I will take those lessons with me. I learned about proper portion sizes, and how to eat food groups, I learned how to actually read a nutritional label (I used to glance at them as if I knew what I was doing but didn’t actually read them lol). I think overall I learned common sense, something some people say can’t be learned lol, because, really, in the end Weight Watchers is common sense. They give you the tools and you use them or you don’t and the results you get are reflective of the work you put in to the program.

The only problem with that last sentence is the results you get aren’t always reflective of the work you put in to the program, and that’s where my love affair with Weight Watchers started to go wrong. For the longest time if I ate my points and did my exercising I lost weight every week, maybe not a lot but I’d lose something and so life was good. But I have been stuck on a plateau since last summer, yup, you read that right, last freakin summer! and my irritation with Weight Watchers and myself was reaching a level I didn’t think possible. Yes, since moving to the new apartment I hadn’t been tracking or paying all that close attention to what I was eating or portion sizes but that is partly because for the previous 6 months even though I had been doing all that nothing had been changing, I was stuck at the same weight for so long that I just gave up. Lame huh?

I probably would have stayed on this cycle of meaning to start tracking again but not doing it and going to the gym about 3 times a week but totally counter acting any work I did in the gym by eating a donut or something else ridiculously bad for me except I had a talk with my agent last week. I had emailed her because I am not getting any auditions and I wanted to ask her if she’d be willing to put me in as a wild card for some auditions to help get me seen more. I am aware there aren’t a lot of casting calls for 5’8″ redheads lol so I was thinking if she put me in for say, auditions meant for brunettes or something maybe somebody would decide that hey maybe a redhead would be good in this role too. Well, she called me back and in the nicest voice (she really sounds like such a sweet lady when she’s tearing your heart out) she informed me that she is putting me out there for anything in my height/age range but I need to lose weight because the girls I am going up against are all around 120lbs and I am not…Now, normally anybody with any self-esteem would not let someone tell them they are too fat and that they have to lose a specific amount of weight but an actor’s relationship with their agent is different so all I did during this convo was make agreeing noises, say “yup” a lot and basically just took it. It’s like a whipped dog, tail between it’s legs, just takes the painful crap cause there’s no other option. *rolls eyes* Suckfest huh? Cause, yes, I know I am overweight, especially for the acting world, but come on! I’m a lot smaller then I was and how the fuck am I gonna lose more weight? I’ve been stuck at this weight for so long telling me to lose so I weigh 120lbs, well, you might as well be telling me I need to lose 500lbs, I have no idea how to do it! sigh

Luckily, fates were on my side that day, later in the day I was meeting up with NC who is someone I have recently been seeing and when I told him the gist of the convo with my agent he said he could help me. Turns out that he used to be a personal trainer and he’s kept up with all the info on the topic so he actually knows what he is talking about lol. Guess that explains how he is in such amazing shape…seriously, amazing! He says if I follow the program he makes for me I could lose 20lbs in 2 months but not just lose the weight like become a smaller version of me, I’d be more toned, in shape, fit…so a healthy weight loss…which is what I need but have no idea how to accomplish on my own. Sweet huh?

So, that is why I haven’t been writing for the last little bit, I’ve been learning the new program I am going to be following and wanted to wait till I had a better understanding of it before I wrote too much about it. I don’t want to write something that ends up being incorrect and have you all think I am nutso lol. Because even though I trust that NC knows what he is talking about and is teaching me good habits etc I am also reading books on the eating style he is having me follow so I can understand the science behind what I am doing…cause, people, there really is a science behind it, it’s crazed! lol

I’ll write more about what my eating and exercise habits are going to be from now on another day, since this post is already nice an long lol but now you know what I am up to over here. 🙂

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