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Chocolate Madness!

21 Apr

For the love of gawd, stop with all the chocolate! Just…Stop!

I don’t do the whole Easter thing but the amount of chocolate I have somehow ended up with is ridiculous! It is all gifted-to-me chocolate and I have done my best to re-gift some of it but I still have a whole bunch of it. And before you say something silly like “why don’t you throw it out? or give it all away” please remember that I am a girl and therefore love chocolate and some things you just don’t throw out, I mean c’mon, what a waste! It’s bad karma to waste food I’m sure of it! lol 😉

Just today I got given an adorable little basket with lots of chocolate eggs in it. It was given as a thank you gift and while she was giving it to me she was apologizing for it being a day late, I loved her reasoning, she said the Easter Bunny got lost and couldn’t find me but he kept trying and voila! he found me today, well, found me via her lol

cute little basket

cute little basket

with chocolate inside, Mmm!

with chocolate inside, Mmm!

There’s actually a lot more chocolate in there then it looks like in the picture and just by looking at it I can feel my ass getting bigger, sigh.

I also have a Lindt chocolate bunny, he’s got a cute little collar with a bell on it. I fully intended to give it away Easter weekend I just didn’t know who to give it to so it is still here, with me, staring at me, judging my willpower against chocolate. Thing is, I can’t eat that, and not because I have some semblance of willpower, it’s too large for me to eat in one sitting but if I eat it’s ears (which seem the most logical spot to start) and then set it aside I am leaving the poor bunny maimed and deaf and that just seems cruel…

awwww, such a cute little bunny rabbit

awwww, such a cute little bunny rabbit

Oh and get this, in some weird twist of logic I don’t want to give the bunny to someone I care about because it’s basically giving someone a present that is super bad for them, I wouldn’t give someone a pack of cigarettes so why would I give them a chocolate bunny that has the potential to make them fatter, increase their BMI and entice them away from a healthy food choice? sigh, pathetic huh? I’m gonna turn in to that lame person that thinks bringing raw veggies without dip is an acceptable potluck snack…oh wait…I already think that, crap… 😛

I also still have the care packages from England that I am making my way through, Mmm! I opened these tonight…

omg sogoodsogoodsogood

omg sogoodsogoodsogood

The bottom is crunchy, like a cookie, then the soft gooey traditional Cadbury Creme Egg centre all surrounded by milk chocolate. Holy hannah! Cadbury is a genius! I usually buy myself one, yes that’s right, One Cadbury Creme Egg for Easter and thoroughly enjoy it. I don’t eat the chocolate though, I open up the top, use a finger to scoop out the yummy gooey centre then throw the chocolate away…one of the super rare times I won’t eat chocolate lol. These don’t give you the option, you kinda have to eat the chocolate but they taste so good I don’t mind. These will not last long, of that I am already certain lol

I have loads more chocolate around here but don’t want to bore you with pictures of all of it lol

On top of all these ticking-chocolate-timebombs I also ate an incredibly large quantity of food yesterday at the Easter brunch my work held, my stomach may never recover, omg all so tasty, all so fattening, all of it in my tummy…or at least that is what it felt like yesterday lol When I make food I plate it not on a dinner plate but on the small plate that comes with your dish set but at the buffet they were using large dinner plates so I had one of those and I, get this, actually covered the entire bottom of the plate with food! Normally you can see a good chunk of my plate when I use the little plate but yesterday I covered the entire bottom of a large plate! How is that even possible?? I didn’t eat all of it but truth be told, the food I didn’t eat was left behind only because I didn’t much care for it, so I can’t really take credit for resisting some of the food on the plate lol Then there was dessert…let’s not go in to details about that k? It’d just be embarrassing. Let’s leave it at there was dessert, I ate it. 😛 What amazed me was how there I was, silently appalled at how much food I had put on my plate but most of the people there had pyramids of food on their plate, towers of food, basically a whole lot more food than I, and they ate it! People *shakes head* we are all gluttons at times lol

So here I am, someone who doesn’t generally do anything for Easter and I over-indulged in a huge meal and am surrounded by Easter themed chocolate. It’s like I crossed over to an alternate dimension…

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Stir Fry Sunday: Mediocre Is The Best Praise I Can Give

13 Apr

Hey look at me, making stir fry on a Sunday again! Sadly, it wasn’t that great of a stir fry, but they can’t all be, right?

it doesn't even look good, sigh.

it doesn’t even look good, sigh.

I used vermicelli noodles, topped with a sweet and sour sauce. The veggies are Europe’s Best brand, the Zen Garden mixture (that is code for veggies commonly found in stir fry lol), they were heated in a pan with a stir fry sauce. Then on top of that was half a honey garlic glazed chicken breast and half an avocado (cubed).

The best I can say about it is it was mediocre. Definitely not my best! I wasn’t all that hungry though so there is the possibility that I was all “meh” about it cause I would have been perfectly content not eating anything. I made enough for two meals, the other portion is patiently sitting in my fridge, waiting for tomorrow to come when I will once again eat it for dinner…let’s hope it tastes better warmed up! *crosses fingers*

The reason I made stir fry was because after work I actually had enough energy to workout (shocking I know!) and I figured my body would want dinner since it had been forced to be active, apparently I was wrong. But hey, whatcha gonna do? I already had it made so not like I was just gonna ignore it.

Sundays and Mondays are my chill work out days. If I manage even a walk around the neighbourhood I am happy. I start work at 7am which means I am up at 5:30am and since I’m a night owl and don’t sleep well prior to 3am I usually accomplish those two days on roughly 3 hours of sleep each. Sucky.

Today I was determined to exercise after work so I took my workout gear with me, the plan was to change at work and go for a run in the neighbourhood I work in. I find the drive home lulls me in to a state of “I need a nap” so well that no matter how determined I am to workout once home, it just never happens. The solution seemed to be to avoid that situation completely. Well, let’s just say I’m not always a genius lol I forgot to take my pants…yup, that’s right, I had changed my upper half and went digging through the bag for my yoga pants and hmm, nothing there…oops! I thought I would get home and say screw it, it’s a sign I shouldn’t workout but instead I lectured myself, saying I was half dressed to workout so I might as well finish changing and go, and I did! Yay! 🙂

It was a fairly pathetic workout, I ran (well, jogged/walked) for a little over 5km, then did a bunch of squats, then did some upper body weight work with a set of dumbbells I have, then stretched, then declared it time to hop in the shower. 🙂

I know it’s not a great workout but like I said, on Sundays I am happy if I manage to go for a walk and this was better than a walk! You know that quote about how it doesn’t matter how slow you run you are still going faster than the person on the couch? I hate that quote, making yourself feel better by thinking poorly about some faceless person, not cool. So I changed it, I kept reminding myself while I was running that I may be slow but I’m faster than the lazy me who goes home after work and naps, and that should count for something, right?

On a junk food sidenote, I have received two care packaged lately, one from my mom and one from my uncle, both filled with junk food from England. Man-oh-man! My tastebuds are sooooo happy! My waistline? Not so much…This evening I snacked on something called Fruit Salad & Black Jack. Don’t let the name fool you, there is no fruit lol They have the texture of a Starburst, which I love! but the flavour is, hmm, not my favourite. There are black licorice pieces which I thought would be great, I love licorice, but it tastes like licorice combined with fruit and one piece leaves my tongue numb, ick. The other pieces taste fruity, I couldn’t narrow that down to a specific fruit flavour if there was a gun to my head, just a generic fruit flavour, those pieces I kinda like. I’ll be done the bag freakishly fast since I’m only eating the fruit pieces and the bag is mostly licorice pieces, I’m trying to look at that as a good thing, saved calories ya know? 😛 lol

2014-04-13 21.23.02

I will be bombarding you with English candy updates as I graze my way through the two care packages. I would love to be able to say it will take me ages to eat it all but English junk food is way better than Canadian (I’m sorry! I know that is non-patriotic but I love the food from across the pond! Please don’t kick me out of Canada! lol) and it won’t take me all that long to decimate  what has been sent to me. Guess I’ll have to push the workouts up to the next level or I’ll be doomed! DoooOOOOoooomed! Too dramatic? Nah, I didn’t think so either! 😛 lol

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No More Back Up Plan

11 Apr

You may recall a short while ago I blogged about thinking about going back to University, specifically, going to Law School. I was torn between being a grown up, sucking it up, and just going already and following my dreams and staying with the acting. I had almost convinced myself that I would start studying for the LSATs and take the necessary steps to apply.  I would be a good lawyer, shrug, and I’m sure I would find it entertaining and challenging but it’s not acting. Nothing will ever be as good an option as acting. However, acting doesn’t pay very well unless you make it to the top and I’m sick and tired of being poor.

Turns out I don’t get to make the decision about going back to school, the government has chosen for me.

For those not in Canada let me explain how student loans work here. You apply, hopefully you get money, you go to school. Once you have been done school for a certain amount of time (6 months or a year, I can’t remember which) you are supposed to start paying back your student loans. However, if you are poor, which most recent graduates are, and not making a lot of money you can apply for Repayment Assistance. You send in a form, the people that manage the paying back of government student loans look at the form and decide if you are so poor you don’t have to make monthly payments.

I have always been that poor. 😦

When you qualify for Repayment Assistance the government pays the interest on your loan and you don’t have to make any payments, or you might have to make payments but small ones that are calculated based on what you earn.

Like I said, since graduation I have always been poor enough that I haven’t had to make monthly payments.

Well, the student loan people in all their “wisdom” have decided that I can now somehow magically afford to make monthly payments on my student loan. Uh, what?? I go a good 3 out of 4 weeks every month unable to buy groceries and only survive food wise because I work somewhere that has a kitchen and the chefs will feed me. I literally live paycheque to paycheque and now I have to find an extra $90 a month to give the student loan people??

student loans

Who does the math over there?? Do they not realize I live in a ridiculously expensive city? That I live on my own and therefore have to rely on my paycheque to pay for everything, no spouse/partner to help me out? That I have car payments? That I have other bills that I struggle to pay? Do they not realize that a person, no matter how little money they make, still needs to have enough left over every month so they can buy something fun otherwise they will go a little nuts?

The thing is, they know everything about me due to the nature of the organization. They have all kinds of info about me because of lending me money for school. They know what I earn, what my expenses are, where I live, the cost of living here, that I am human and sometimes need to buy something fun, they just don’t care.

They were more than willing to loan me money when I was younger, and stupider, and didn’t really grasp how hard life would be when I was done school, living on my own and trying to make ends meet and now that I am older, hopefully a bit wiser, and in the stage of life where I should be paying them back but can’t afford to, they don’t care.

They want their cut, just like everyone else and screw my need for groceries, rent, or anything else my money strains to pay for now.

As if that wasn’t mean enough the letter I got from them today telling me how much my monthly payments are also says:

“you are now restricted from future student financial assistance benefits, in the form of new student loans and grants should you decide to return to school in the future”

Huh.

So, even if I was the most gung-ho person ever with regards to going back to school it wouldn’t matter, cause I can’t afford it, they won’t give me money for it, and even if I somehow found a way to earn extra money I wouldn’t be allowed to save it up because they would increase how much I have to pay them every month.

While I can see the logic of not continuously loaning money out to people who can’t pay it back I can’t help but feel the system is flawed. I went to University, did well, decided to pursue an acting career, haven’t made money at it (yet!) and am now thinking about going to Law School. I’m pretty sure the argument can be made that lawyers will always be needed and it is a slightly more secure career path than acting, so you’d think they’d be ok with helping someone go to school so they can then earn a higher income which would enable them to not only be a more financially contributing member of society but also pay back their student loans.

But since the world isn’t run using my logic I must follow the rules they have set out, flawed as they are, which means no possibility of law school for me.

Good bye back up plan *waves somberly at UBC Law Department* guess I won’t be seeing you soon.

student loan meme

Sidenote: I am well aware not being able to pay back a student loan is a “first world problem” and I don’t mean to come off as a whiny, spoiled brat, I’m just frustrated with the student loan system. you can’t get a well paying job without a University education, you can’t get a University education without student loans, tuition keeps getting hiked up which means loan amounts keep getting hiked up but once you graduate the promised well paying jobs are not there and so you are shackled with a huge amount of debt, with a high interest rate, and a low paying job. All because you followed the rules that said going to University was the way to succeed. *rolls eyes*

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Awesome Sunday

1 Apr

Why can’t every day be like this past Sunday? Seriously, it was so much fun! Well…for me, others might not be that impressed with it lol 😛

It started off with something that wasn’t funny at the time but now is so sit back and enjoy a story that clearly shows you juuuuust how dumb I can be! 😉

cant brain today

I didn’t have to work on Sunday, I had booked the day off so I could attend an Acting Workshop. The class didn’t start till 11am which meant I didn’t have to be up until 8:30am which is sooooo lovely compared to my normal wake-up time of 5:20am on a Sunday cause of working at 7am. Ugh.

Anyways!

So I get to sleep in which right there is a great improvement to the day lol I set the alarm for 8:30am the night before and blissfully drift off to sleep. Cue the morning when the alarm goes off. I couldn’t believe how tired I felt considering I got 6 hours of  sleep but oh well, I roll out of bed, stumble my way to the shower and attempt to wake myself up while not drowning under the water spray. Next comes uber careful make-up application. More careful than normal since I am about to spend the day in front of a camera and I want to look good lol. After the make-up is complete I head towards the bedroom for hair and clothing. On the way I check the clock on the microwave to make sure I’m not running late and the time says, brace yourself!…6:22am. Um, what? That can’t be right, I didn’t get up till 8:30am. So I check the time on the stove clock, 6:22am. I start to get suspicious, they can’t both be wrong, can they? So I then go and check the one clock I know will never lie to me, my phone. Whaddya know, it says 6:23am.

What?!?! What is going on?? I check the alarm and there it is, my alarm is set for 8:30am so how in bloody hell did I end up with an alarm going off at 5:20am?

Turns out that while yes, I did set an alarm for 8:30am I forgot to turn off my alarm for 5:20am. Ooops! I was so tired when the 5:20am alarm went off, what with that being my approx 3 hours asleep mark I didn’t look at the clock, I just got up and started to get ready. I jipped myself our of 3 hours of sleep! *groan*

I did what any sensible person would do, I dried my hair, put my pajamas back on, crawled in to bed, spread my hair above my head on the pillow so I wouldn’t dent it while sleeping (just go with it, it’s a long-haired person thing), sternly lectured myself about not rolling over and ruining my make-up, and went back to sleep. Ahhh sleep! Since I was more than half ready for the day I got to sleep till 9am, wOOt!

*rolls eyes at self* I couldn’t believe I did that! Well, actually, yeah, I can lol but still!

What could have been taken as a bad omen for the day totally wasn’t, phew! My day was awesome – hence the title of this post lol 😛

The workshop was amazing!! As in completely, utterly, I wish I could do that everyday, amazing! The two ladies that ran it are Casting Directors so the workshop was half about getting to work on acting stuff and half about networking. Sometimes I suck at networking, I get stupidly shy at the worst moments and as a result come across as an idiot, or a bitch, or people thinking that I think I am better than everyone when that isn’t the case at all. It’s just that I’m a bit of an introvert and am socially awkward. I work really hard at being human when being social, I’d usually much rather be watching, not participating. But sometimes you just can’t do that, ya gotta participate. And I have to say, I did a damn fine job of it this time. The ladies were great, I made them laugh, they seemed to like me, they seemed to really like my acting. It was all kinds of perfect. 🙂

The hope is that now that they have seen me on camera, worked with me, met and hopefully liked me, next time my agent submits me for a project they are casting they will be all “oh hey, it’s H! we like her, let’s bring her in!” See how that works? Networking!

I was going to go for a run in the are afterwards but it was raining and I forgot about one important thing. Hunger. I often forget I am going to have to eat throughout the day, I really wish I didn’t since it takes up so much time, sigh. I drove home, made a delish wrap (I put honey glazed chicken, Mediterranean and stir-fry veggies in it, oh and I spread two triangles of Jalapeno Laughing Cow Cheese on the wrap), called and chatted with the parents for a while, attempted to digest what turned out to be way too big of a wrap (I put way too many veggies in there, so good but omg my poor tummy lol). Then I basically chilled with the cat before I went out in the evening.

I loved Sunday. Not because I got to sleep in – sorta. Not because I got to not be at work – though that was nice. Not because I had an interesting start to the day which gave me a funny story to share – that’s a bit of a bonus. But because for a chunk of my day I got to be an actor. I got to play. I got to be in front of the camera, working on scenes, some improv, some scripted. I got to meet two amazing casting directors who gave me great feedback, constructive criticism, and who provided an open and safe environment to act in. I got to hang with other actors and talk about the industry. I got to feel like I was being pro-active towards my acting career. I got to feel alive. *happy sigh*

I wish everyday could be like Sunday. 😀

happy

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Society and Rain

28 Mar

Two things stopped me from running tonight after work, well, three if you count my laziness whiiiiich I suppose is the only one that really counts but let’s ignore that one shall we? 😉

I once again didn’t manage to get my lazy ass out of bed early enough to workout before going to work today, sigh, I hate myself for that every time it happens which fyi, is every Friday and Saturday. blarg. I have plenty of time before work starts to get in some sort of work out, whether it is an exercise dvd, going to the gym, going for a run, hell even just doing some squats and free weight stuff in my apartment but do I do any of those? Nope! I sleep in just long enough to not have enough time to work out then I chill and do nothing important before going to work. An utter waste of a day. I do this every week, it’s pathetic. *rolls eyes*

After work tonight (I was off at 9:15pm) I actually felt like working out. I didn’t feel all super pumped this’ll-be-the-best-workout-ever! but I felt, I dunno, like it was time. Like I had hit my fed upness with myself, hit my limit of lazy and wanted to do something physical. I had to stop at Superstore on my way home but I decided on the drive to Superstore that once I got home I’d quickly change and go for a run. I was actually looking forward to it believe it or not.

teehee

teehee

Well, after Superstore I get back in the suv and start driving and got hit by a wave of tiredness. Completely out of proportion to the level of activity I had for the day I might add. I swear I felt like I could have gone home, gone to bed and fallen asleep right away. I never sleep early, my body just can’t do it, so feeling like that was uber weird for me.

I got home, sat in the suv and tried to mentally convince myself that I was going to go for a run, even if it was slow, even if it was pathetic, at least it would be something. I was texting with a couple friends at the time and one of them said I shouldn’t go running, it was too late at night and not safe. I was all “huh? that’s ridiculous” but it got me thinking. I’ve gone for runs at night before and while running have thought it was high on the list of stupid decisions I have made because it is dark, late, paths are empty, not only could I injure myself due to poor lighting conditions but I could come across someone who has less-than-nice intentions and get myself in to some serious trouble. I’d be an idiot to not be aware of that.

I absolutely hate the idea of fear making a decision for me, of my not doing something because it could be dangerous, could put me in an unsafe situation, could have negative consequences. People would never get anywhere, have new experiences, truly enjoy life to it’s fullest if fear made their decisions for them. For all of that though, I have to be realistic. There are certain situations I really don’t want to be in, like being attacked while running, and if running late at night is going to increase my chance of that well, maybe I shouldn’t go. sigh.

Despite living in a city that is considered safe, in an area that I feel comfortable walking home tipsy in, I still have to be aware of my surroundings, keep an eye out for someone acting suspiciously, someone who perhaps doesn’t belong or might have nefarious reasons for being there. And isn’t that pathetic, and sad, and horrible? That as a woman I can’t go running late at night without having a niggling fear it could be dangerous, without having to be aware that it is my responsibility to not put myself in a stupid situation because others can’t be trusted?

How did this come to be? Or better yet, how can we stop it being like this?

While having these somewhat deep (and mildly depressing) thoughts the clouds opened up and it started to rain, not lightly drizzle but pour rain, which ended my internal debate on whether I would chance it and go running or play the coward and stay inside because I do not run in the rain, I might melt! 😉 lol

So now it is almost 1am, I am still feeling a bit tired and I just might attempt to get an early night. Who knows, maybe if I get to bed and to sleep before 3am I’ll actually be able to drag my sorry ass out of bed in the morning and get it to the gym before heading to work! *crosses fingers*

Sidenote: you’d never know it by how lazy I have been for the past, oh, forever? lol but I actually really like working out. I know! I am that person, I said it, feel free to smack me upside the head! lol But I do, I like how I feel like I am accomplishing something, how I can feel myself getting stronger, how after I am done I feel better about myself – not just in how I look but how I feel health wise. You’d think all of that would be enough to get me out of bed and to the gym but somehow, it’s not. *rolls eyes*

and yet, still not enough motivation, sigh

and yet, still not enough motivation, sigh

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Sugar Overdose

27 Mar

I’ve been eating not all that great lately and I think I am (I can’t believe I am about to say this!)…all sugared out.

I am not only not craving/desiring/wanting things with overt amounts of sugar in them I am actively craving things that aren’t all sugary sweetness.

How crazy is that??

no more sugar? say whaaaa???

no more sugar? say whaaaa???

I don’t even want my go-to spoonful of peanut butter lately. If it wasn’t for having no other symptoms I’d say I must be sick! lol

Can a person eat too much sweet stuff, or just in general not good-for-you stuff and have their bodies rebel? If so, I think mine has done it.

For the past couple days all I’ve really been wanting are fresh fruit, bland meals, simple foods that have no sweetness to them. Seriously, what has happened to my tastebuds??

Now, you might be thinking that this is a great thing, that it makes it easier to say no to treats but it oddly has had the opposite affect. I’m so freaked out by this that I keep trying various sugary treats, even though I don’t want them, because I think I should want them and I feel like something has gone wrong because I am not craving them. How messed up is that?! A lot, I know!

I’ve decided to stop with the contrary, ridiculous behaviour and as of right now I am going to be eating healthier, which will result in my eating the types of foods I am craving. Keeping in mind payday isn’t until Friday sooooo the changes will be quite minor until I can afford groceries…hopefully the change in foods will get me back to feeling more like myself. I know the change in foods will be good for my weight loss, workouts, dragon boat training, self-esteem…crap, why’d I ever stop eating healthy when it has so many positive side effects?? And don’t say cause I’m a dummy, I already know that! lol 😛

Combined with my changing back to healthier foods I keep thinking about trying CrossFit. I hear amazing things about it, both good and bad and soooo badly want to indulge my curiosity. However, I don’t want to be the last person to finish, or the weakest person there, or well, the suckiest. Which I’m fairly certain I would be cause I’ve heard what some of the workouts are and I’m fairly certain if I tried doing those workouts I’d die right there in the gym lol. What stops me the most from trying it out is the cost, I have yet to find a CrossFit price that doesn’t seem exorbitant and way out of my price range. No way I am spending over $100 a month to work out, I don’t have that kind of expendable income, whiiiiich pretty much keeps me solidly in the camp of wanting-to-try-but-can’t-cause-I-can’t-afford-it. sigh.

I don't have the designer purse either :P

I don’t have the designer purse either 😛

I know a lot of people who’d say it is money well spent, totally worth it, and then question me about if I feel my health and well-being were worth so little to me. I would like to point out it’s not that I don’t think my health and fitness are not worth the expense, it’s that if I have to choose between being able to pay rent, pay my other bills and have a bit left over, I’m going that route rather than paying for one month of CrossFit and having to skip a bill because my pay cheque doesn’t stretch far enough to pay for everything. I mean c’mon, if my pay cheque stretched enough to pay for everything I wanted I’d totally of signed up for that lipo already! 😉 lol

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My Last Three Days

21 Mar

My last three days have been busy, or at least they felt that way but when I look back on them I can’t figure out why they felt so busy…weird… 😛

Well ok, Tuesday wasn’t busy lol I slept in, chilled with the cat then went to dragon boat practice. After practice I made dinner, cooked a new fish dish which turned out well, when I say “well” I mean I didn’t give myself food poisoning lol It tasted fine, nothing great so I won’t be buying it again, shrug. It was healthy though, which was what I was aiming for so yay for getting that right! Although, someone out there will probably read what it was and say I am wrong *rolls eyes* Leave me with my delusions! lol

It was a coconut crusted piece of tilapia, there was seasoning in there too, not like it was just coconut but since it came pre-crusted/seasoned I couldn’t say for sure what those seasonings were…

tilapia coated with seasoning and coconut, yams and grilled peppers

tilapia coated with seasoning and coconut, yams and grilled peppers

I paired it with some red and yellow grilled peppers and some sliced yam, those were cooked in a pan on top of the stove with no butter/spray/oil used, I just put a small bit of water in the pan so the food didn’t stick. I was paranoid about cooking the fish, the instructions said cook for ten minutes per inch and a half of thickness, what?? That’s not cool, I want specific directions for my piece of fish, I want to be told exactly how many minutes for my fish, not have to figure it out myself cause dude, I’ll figure it out wrong! Least, that was the panicked thoughts going through my head lol Turns out it was cooked perfectly, go fig! 🙂

Wednesday I spent the afternoon with my lil sis at the mall. Normally I try to get us doing something active for at least part of our time together but her birthday was this week so I let her decide every thing we did Wednesday which meant we spent the entire time in the mall. Ah well, it’s her day! 🙂 We had fun, which was a given really lol I bought a new phone case for myself which I am in love with right now, every time I pick up my phone I laugh, teehee, and yes I know, I am easily amused. It is a someecards cover and looks like this…

cause I know you care what my phone case looks like lol

cause I know you care what my phone case looks like lol

We had a pit stop at Tim Horton’s cause well, why wouldn’t we?? There is a new maple glazed doughnut out and all I can say to Timmy’s about that is bravo *slow clap* ya done goooooood! My other comment to them is where are all the winning cups?? It’s Roll Up The Rim game time and none of my cups have won so far! *pout*

medium steeped tea and a doughnut, classic!

medium steeped tea and a doughnut, classic!

In the evening I hung out with KL, we got dinner (Indian food, Mmm!), then saw the movie 12 Years A Slave and holy crap was it amazing! Brutal. But amazing. So no exercise for me at all on Wednesday, and lots of food, which is sorta reversed to how it is supposed to be but alas, Wednesday was two days ago so there’s nuthin I can do about it now! lol 😛

Sidenote:

Every time this commercial comes on tv I stop and watch. I love it, well, right up until it gets to the part about advertising for Centrum Science Multi-Vitamins cause I’m not on that whole vitamin bandwagon but I find the commercial inspiring (to a point). All those people, of various ages and backgrounds taking part in a wide variety of physical activities, leading healthy lifestyles, I dunno, something about it makes me want to do more. Try a new sport, or go back to one I used to do and stopped *cough*boxing*cough*

Thursday!

I had a relaxing morning, went to an audition early afternoon, then dragon boat practice at night then out for dinner later that night. Thursday was a good day. 🙂

The audition went great, I got amazing feedback from the casting director so wOOt! wOOt! I can’t tell anything about the project or specifics about the auditions cause I signed a non-disclosure agreement but if it turns in to anything rest assured I’ll be linking it to my blog so you can all pretend to watch it lol 😉

At practice we got informed that us girls have to train twice as hard as the guys and that we (this time I mean everyone, not just the girls) are supposed to be eating healthy (duh!) and we aren’t supposed to drink alcohol…um, what? Not like I drink a lot or anything but…none? At all? Hmm…this woman really doesn’t know us lol

Her strictness with things did help curb my appetite today though, which I suppose is good, any little bit helps right? I had dinner at work but only cause it was a fish steak with veggies, there were other things with it (mashed potatoes, spring rolls, apple pie etc) but I didn’t eat those. Didn’t even snag a cookie for dessert!

Oh and lastly! A friend of mine who is a trainer informed me that a respectable time to complete my BMO Run is 45 minutes…I’m going to die…my training is pretty much non-existent, which is not good, I’ve gotta start kicking my own ass in to gear when it comes to running, ugh. Whyyyyyy did I sign up for this? Stupid-wanting-a-new-challenge-feeling *rolls eyes* 😛

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Oh No You Didn’t!

18 Mar

Oh yes, yes I did! bwahahahahaha! 😛

Happy late St. Paddy’s Day everyone. 😀

What did you do over the weekend to celebrate? Did you drink green beer? Wear something dorky on your head? Pretend you are more Irish than you actually are?

I was working, as I am every weekend, so I didn’t go out and get drunk on green beer but I did wear a green dorky shamrock thing on my head. I meant to get a picture but it was such a busy work day the thought flew right out of my head. Ah well, there are enough dorky pictures of me in the world, another one isn’t really needed lol

How I celebrate St. Patrick’s Day is much more low key, and much more high calorie 😛 I went to McDonald’s and got a Shamrock Shake and oh man was it goooooood!

Oh McD's how I miss you!

Oh McD’s how I miss you!

Look how green and minty and yummy!

Look how green and minty and yummy!

 

Oh and look, I found a pic from last year where I was wearing the same dorky green thing on my head…

I never look good in selfies lol

I never look good in selfies lol

So there ya have it, proof that I went and got fast food that wasn’t Subway, and here I am saying that will not be happening again until next St. Patrick’s Day…it’s gonna be a loooooong year! lol

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Middle Ground

15 Mar

I’ve got a pair of pants that when I bought them I thought they fit but once I got them home and wore them out for the first time I realized they were actually a bit too big. The crotch (I hate that word! lol) was too low so it rubbed against the inside of my thighs causing pain and raw skin…too much info? only happens to me? Yeah, sigh, figures… 😉 lol

Anyways! I put the pants in the dryer, a calculated risk, that I hoped would prove to be a smart idea. It did, sorta. The pants, after a couple runs through the dryer fit better around the waist, butt, hips and leg areas. They were a tad shorter than I like but not so much shorter I can’t still wear them with a variety of shoes. Phew! My legs are so long I hang to dry all pants because they can very quickly become too short and I look like that person who is expecting a flood 24/7 lol 😛

So today for work I wore the pants. I was maaaaaybe an hour in to my shift and every time I was standing or walking I was also pulling the pants up a bit and wishing I’d worn a belt. They were fitting looser in all areas but of course were still the tad too short they had been since the dryer stints.

I don’t know if this means I have lost a little bit of weight (please oh please mean I have lost some weight! *crosses fingers*) or if it means my pants have stretched out a bit or didn’t shrink quite as much as I realized. Obviously I’m hoping I got smaller not that my pants got bigger.

I seem to appear to be back in the middle ground of clothing sizes. I hate the middle ground. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, it is that stage where you are becoming too small for one size but are still too big for the next size down so your clothes don’t fit nicely no matter what you wear. It sucks even if it is an indication you’re on the right track.

this goes for all clothes

this goes for all clothes

Thing is, I can’t think of anything that would have made me slim down a bit so I’m leaning towards the pants stretching out, which sucks.

I’ve been working on making small changes with my food, cutting out the processed foods I’d been enjoying during my off season, drinking more water, making sure to get protein in at every meal (well, ok, almost every meal, this is me after all lol), and, the big one, I’m eating less peanut butter! Shocking I know! I mean c’mon, I am the person who happily eats a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter and considers it a meal lol But yeah, small changes to my eating, nothing major, nothing to warrant slimming down enough to make pants fit looser.

One happy bonus to the pants fitting loosely this evening was it made it easier to resist bad-for-me-foods cause I kept thinking “if I have lost some weight I don’t wanna gain it back by making a stupid food choice” lol Oh the things I use for increasing my willpower! 😛

I have noticed lately that I am finding it easier to resist the foods that usually have me caving. Weird huh? Weird but awesome! If I walk through the bakery section at the grocery store I may glance at all the bakery items I usually drool over but I don’t pause and I definitely don’t buy. I contemplated pizza earlier in the week but easily managed to not order it. I’m finding it easier to not eat the foods at work.

I’m not sure where this increase in willpower has come from but I like it! 🙂 Maybe it’s because it’s dragon boat season again and I want to be in peak condition for practices and for the upcoming race season. Maybe it’s because I am “training” for the BMO Run and keep having horrifying images of a fat me being the last to cross the finish line at the run. Maybe it’s because I have had two auditions in the past two weeks (hoorah!) and want to look better and better for each upcoming audition. That and obviously the more confident I feel about how I look the less I will worry about it when in front of the camera meaning the more I can focus on my acting…and the  more I will look “right” according to casting directors.

It’s probably some combination of all these things and more, who knows what is lurking in my sub-conscious? lol 😉

Whatever it is, I am glad for it. Glad to be that person who easily walks past all the high calorie, processed, so tasty but so bad for me foods and buys the healthy stuff. Glad to be getting back to the way I used to be. Glad that this juuuuust might be the first step towards a healthier, stronger, slimmer me. *crosses fingers*

take the first step, put down the cookie!

take the first step, put down the cookie!

 

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A Helpful Tip?

15 Mar

I read a lot. For the most part I read whatever I think looks interesting, which, given my innate curiosity is pretty much everything lol. Something I read a fair amount of are articles, books, studies etc on eating healthy, fitness, getting in shape, losing weight…anything that somehow relates to leading a healthier lifestyle.

I read all these articles, books and studies for a couple reasons. One is because deep down I am still hoping for some sort of miracle-super-easy-quick-fix to my fat problem. Hey, if I can find something that can actually legit get me in shape faster than what I am doing now sign me up! Also, I read these various pieces for information, to learn what is best for my body, what I might be doing that is actually causing harm, tips and tricks, ideas…things like that. There is no way any one person can know everything about a topic, definitely no way I know everything about getting fit, so why not keep reading everything you can get your hands on? Keep learning, keep expanding your ideas, keep opening your mind to suggestions, keep trying new things…what could it possibly hurt?

So the other day I am reading an article titled: 8 Clever Tips For The Body You Want. If you read enough of these articles you’ll find they mostly all say the same things. Apparently there aren’t that many easy suggestions to pass along *rolls eyes* but one of the suggestions in this article caught my eye, caught it enough I took a screenshot of it so I would be able to reference it later.

my screenshot

my screenshot

The gist of this tip is, ready for it? Dun-dun-dunnnnn…eat the same things daily. Repeat the same exercises over an over. Basically bore yourself to tears by doing the same things over and over again. Apparently, “in one study, less food variety was associated with successful weight loss maintenance” and according to Dr. Oz (yeah, that guy from tv) “research is showing that putting a cap on the variety of foods and tastes you experience will help you control your weight. Find a healthy lunch you like – salad with grilled chicken and olive oil…and have it every day…”

Every.Day.

Basically bore your taste buds into submission. Oh and doing the same workout over and over? Suuuuure, I mean it’s not like you have to worry about your body getting minimal benefit from an oft repeated workout because our bodies are smart and quickly figure out how to get through a workout routine they recognize by doing the least amount of work….oh wait, yes we do have to worry about that! *rolls eyes*

Seriously Dr. Oz? Seriously??

I don’t know who came up with this particular article, I didn’t screenshot that part, oops! But I am baffled by this tip.

How is a person going to learn how to live a healthier lifestyle if their main way of eating is to eat the same thing everyday? All you’re doing is finding a couple healthy meals and hitting the repeat button every time you enter the kitchen. Sure, that may work for a little while, but what happens when that person goes to a potluck? To a restaurant? To a birthday party? To a work function where there is food? Basically, any social situation where you do not get to pick the exact meal put on your plate? How does someone navigate these food danger hot spots? If I only eat salad with grilled chicken for lunch and then my work puts on a lunch function and there are soooooo many tables of super tasty foods in front of me, how have I picked up the skills needed to help me (1) make a healthy food choice using the foods available to me and (2) resist all the super tasty but bad for me foods that are there?

Maybe it is just me but if I was eating the same thing day after day then was put in a situation ( like the work lunch function, or a potluck at a friends place etc) I’d cave faster than a dog that smells steak and basically eat whatever looked tasty. For me, if I deprive myself of the majority of foods out there then am exposed to them I have no willpower to resist them because it’s been so long since I’ve tasted something different than my routine food. I will want nibbles of everything and we all know those nibbles add up quickly! *cough*stupid nibbles*cough*

Granted, this could just be because I have ridiculously weak willpower but I feel it is a valid point.

Wouldn’t it be better to learn one new healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner meal per week, slowly integrating the new healthy meals in to your life so that you get to eat healthy, experience new foods (or at least foods cooked in different ways than before) and bonus you actually enjoy eating instead of dreading it because you’ve been eating the same foods day in and day out?

When I did my super strict Paleo Plan I ate the same foods everyday, in the same order, cooked the same way, nothing ever varied. Did I lose weight? Well, technically yes, I actually built muscle so I lowered my body fat % but my scale had me going up a bit (ya know, cause of that whole muscle vs fat thing). Did I enjoy my food? No. It became a thing I had to do, had to deal with, and I couldn’t wait for each meal to be done because by week two I was so bored. For a while my willpower saved me from cheating. If I was out for dinner I’d order a salad, no dressing, grilled chicken breast on top. I can’t believe I’d pay $16 or so for something so basic but I did, all because it was as close as I could get to what I “should” be eating. I hadn’t learned from my strict Paleo Plan how to navigate eating in a restaurant, what to do if I was at a friends, how to grab something to eat on the go. All I had learned was to eat the same thing over and over and when I was in a situation that varied from my normal day-to-day schedule the Plan abandoned me to figure things out on my own…it’s like kicking a kitten to the curb when it isn’t yet weaned, no way I had the skills or know-how to figure things out on my own.

Sidenote, the kitten to the curb analogy made me look at my cat and get all “oh that’s such a mean thought” so I paused to cuddle my cat…something he doesn’t appreciate cause I woke him up lol 😛

Realistically, how long can a person eat the same foods on a daily basis?

I have to say I think this point, written up how it was written, is flawed. If they had said eat the same meals daily for two weeks than slowly add additional healthy meals that’d be ok. But this makes it sound like you should be eating the same foods daily for ever.

It’s way healthier to learn what foods are healthy, then learn how to cook a variety of dishes using those foods, eventually ending up with an arsenal of go-to meals that are healthy, tasty and varied enough you aren’t (1) bored to tears or (2) so deprived of taste variety you end up going overboard food-wise when put in a situation that is full of temptations. Well, in my opinion anyways…I’ll stop ranting now lol

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