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Not Enough Time

20 Dec

I need more time…for everything! lol

I need more time to get back on track with my eating plan in the hopes I will fit in those jeans. I need more time to get packed for my trip home for Christmas. I need more time to find an outfit to wear to my agency Christmas party. I need more time to emotionally prepare myself for leaving my cat at a boarding place. *sniffle* I don’t wanna leave my cat! 😦

I’m not sure if it would be better to add more hours to the day or just add a day or two in to the weekend…as if I could do either! lol 😛

I had a horrible three days this week when it comes to food. Each day I ate something super high in calories, and what’s even worse is I can’t get specific nutritional information for any of those days so my numbers are guesses, sigh, I hate inaccurate nutritional information, makes me feel like I am cheating lol So now I am freaking out about being able to fit in to the jeans that are hanging on my wall. The goal jeans. The jeans I have been aiming to be able to comfortably wear since last month when I went on this revamped eating plan. Arg!

Packing. Man oh man I suck at packing. Actually, no, that’s not true, I can pack and pack well, you’d be surprised at how much stuff I can fit in to a suitcase! lol I suck at actually getting around to packing…I have this unfortunate habit of trying to pack practically all of my clothes and shoes, realizing I can’t take them all, taking over half the stuff out of the suitcase, squishing what I deem essential in to the suitcase, expand the suitcase, realize I forgot something then try oh so hard to fit it in, give up and decide to fix it the next day but the next day is the day I am leaving so when I try to fix it I am super rushed and always end up with an overweight suitcase when I get to the airport. It’s practically tradition! lol

luckily my suitcase isn't that small! lol

luckily my suitcase isn’t that small! lol

I don’t have time to do any of that this trip so I actually *gasp* wrote a list of what to pack! A list! Eeegads, I feel so grown up…I packed my clothes and the Christmas presents and am shocked at how quickly the process went, maybe there is something to this list thing…Of course the packing isn’t done, I still have to pack my wash kit but I don’t fly out for a couple days yet and I need that stuff till then lol

I spent part of yesterday shopping for a dress to wear Saturday night to the agency Christmas party. I failed miserably. Ugh. Shopping is one of those activities that either makes me ridiculously happy or ridiculously miserable. The party is a formal affair and I don’t have an appropriate dress, crap! I didn’t have a lot of time to shop so picked one shop I usually have success at and basically put all my eggs in one basket…let’s just say I broke the eggs *rolls eyes* lol broken-eggs1Nothing they had looked right on me which was disheartening. I ended up buying two blouses and hoping one of them would match a lace skirt I already had at home. I tried them on with the skirt this evening and the one was ok, not amazing or anything but I guess it’ll hafta do. shrug.

For the first time ever I am putting my cat in to boarding and I am spazzing about it. sigh. He would be too if he knew what was coming. I had a cat sitter but that fell through and an awesome friend said she’d come over daily with her daughters and take care of my little bundle of fur but she is a super busy lady and the more I thought about it the worse I felt. She doesn’t have time for that and even though I knew she’d somehow find the time I (1) didn’t want to cause her even more stress and (2) realized that she’d at most spend an hour a day at my place which would mean he’d be spending 23 hours a day alone and that’s not cool. I put his name on waiting lists for boarding places and was told odds were way slim so I bought him a plane ticket and was all excited he’d be coming with me. Well go figure someone cancelled and he got in to a boarding place so now he is staying here and I’m sad he won’t be coming with me and worried he’ll be miserable. What if he thinks I am abandoning him? Not coming back? Don’t love him? 😦 I took him to the vet this past Tuesday and he only finally forgave me for that today…that’s three days of upsetness over one little trip. What the hell is he gonna do when he is left somewhere for a week?!

On happy notes we had snow again today, more then the last snowfall! There was enough snow I had to brush it off my suv, some people at work made a snowman and everything is gorgeous looking. 🙂

Snow Day!

Snow Day!

Gotta love a snowman!

Gotta love a snowman!

 

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Three Day Gong Show

18 Dec

You would think that in the final stretch of this challenge, when there are barely any days left to lose enough weight to be able to fit in to the pants I have hanging on my wall I would be doing everything right. You’d think I’d be exercising once a day or more, that I’d be following my eating plan so strictly that not even a little crumb of something bad for me would get near me, let alone in me. But this is me. And we should all know better than that by now. 😉

I am surprised at just how spectacularly I have screwed up these past three days. I’m talking epic levels of screwed up! EPIC! *sigh*

I’m ashamed at how badly I have been eating these last three days. Some of it I know why it happened, some of it I don’t. I know that right now I am a combination of “what’s done is done and tomorrow is going to be even worse so get over it” and “oh my god I can’t believe how badly I am sabotaging myself! do I not want to fit in to the jeans? do I want to be fat forever? put the freakin food down already and learn to have some semblance of will power damn it!”

Since I believe in tough love and generally am not all that nice to myself I am leaning more towards the second mentality than the first. I tend to mentally yell at myself a lot lol

So let’s catch you up on just how I’ve been screwing up shall we?

Monday, there were little pieces of pumpkin pie at work…there was no one around which means no witnesses…I ate three little pieces, ugh. They tasted sooooo good! That particular screw up was a direct result of not over eating the day before at the buffet we had at work for Christmas. Confused? Lemme try to explain. I did my best to eat healthy at the buffet at work, I didn’t eat the eggs benedict, the potatoes, the buns, the stuffing…basically a bunch of food I would have loved to of eaten. I did eat a small piece of salmon, one slice of turkey I cut the skin off of, veggies, two shrimp and smoked salmon. Everything I took I took a small amount of and did my best to scrape off sauces etc. I allowed myself to have a lemon tart for dessert and some fresh fruit. I had a relatively small amount of food by the end of my meal and was left feeling a bit hungry, which I am sorta used to since I usually feel a low level vague sense of hunger at all times. I like to think resisting that hunger makes me strong lol 😛 Everyone else stuffed themselves on the main foods and the desserts and loved every bite. None of them seemed to feel badly about what they ate or how much, they just enjoyed. I felt…deprived…which is stupid, but I did. People always walk away from buffets stuffed silly, especially Christmas buffets, free Christmas buffets, but not me, and it left me feeling…I dunno…like I was missing out on something. A little empty inside. Stupid, I know! As a result I ate three little pieces of pumpkin pie the next day. *rolls eyes* The three little pieces didn’t even equal one slice but it still set me up for the fall I was about to take off the meal plan wagon I had been on all this time.

My dinner was no better, I ended up screwing up there and going sooooo far over my calories for the day it is embarrassing. 😦

Tuesday I was going to get back on track, stop being a screw up and try to fix the damage I’d done Monday buuuuut that didn’t quite happen. I won’t go in to massive details and bore you but I ended up having to run around and fix something major uber important and didn’t get to eat until 3pm. By that time I was half starved and bought Thai food, specifically I ate Pad Thai. I love Pad Thai but had absolutely no idea just how bad it was for me, crap! Later that night when I was trying to find nutritional information I was pretty much screwed. The restaurant I bought it from doesn’t have nutritional information and everything I look at has such drastically different numbers for calories, fat, carbs, sodium etc that I don’t know which numbers to use. Since none of them had good numbers and I was feeling a bit sick from being so full I decided I just wouldn’t eat the rest of the day to balance out the ridiculousness that was that meal. That oh so tasty meal, Mmm. Would’ve worked but at a movie that night I ended up nibbling on a friend’s popcorn and twizzlers. It started as a joke, one of the guys an I were joking about how E is always so distracted we could probably sneak away his popcorn and he’d never know. Turns out we could snag it and once we had it how am I going to explain without looking like a diet obsessed female that “oh sorry, I can’t have a small amount of popcorn to finish off the joke cause it’s not in my eating plan”? I had a bit, and a bit turned in to a bit more, then somehow it turned in to also eating 4 twizzlers, and omg I didn’t want to stop! What the hell is wrong with me?! Movie junk food?? I don’t eat that crap! Arg! Bone head move or what? *flares nostrils* After the movie we went for drinks, I had this lychee drink that was so tasty! Lychee is one of my fave fruits. 🙂 It was lychee liqueur, peach liqueur, apple juice and lychee for garnish. Mmm! I don’t even want to think about the calories in that…

Then today. *rolls eyes* I started off alright, I had oatmeal, not on my eating plan but relatively ok to eat. I went to the German Christmas Market with KL this evening and we ate dinner there. I had a schnitzel in a pita, there was also coleslaw stuffed in there. Holy crap it was good! KL had meat in a bun covered with sauerkraut, we weren’t sure what kind of meat it was but I was betting pork. Dessert was a waffle on a stick. I love how so many foods can be eaten on sticks nowadays lol Oh, and two cups of apple cider.

My schnitzel wrap

My schnitzel wrap

KL's unknown mean in a bun

KL’s unknown mean in a bun

Waffle on a stick drizzled in chocolate, Mmm!

Waffle on a stick drizzled in chocolate, Mmm!

That makes three days of epic food fails. THREE! I only have until Sunday to be able to fit in to those jeans if I want to succeed in my challenge and instead of making this final week an epic-do-everything-right-and-kick-ass-till-I-get-to-the-finish-line week I am going nuts with the food and lack of exercise and omg what the hell is wrong with me?? I’m so mad at myself! What’s worse is tomorrow is my work Christmas lunch and that won’t be anywhere near healthy!

I’m never gonna fit in to my jeans…

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Random Roundup

13 Dec

I am right this very minute watching Celtic Woman Home For Christmas and loooooving it! This particular concert was filmed in the Helix Theatre in Dublin, *wistful sigh* one of the items on my “List Of Things To Do In Life” is see a Celtic Woman concert in Ireland because the concerts are always so beautiful looking. I saw one here, a couple years ago, and while the beauty of the singers voices brought tears to my eyes the venue left much to be desired. The concert was held where the hockey games are played and that big cube thing that hangs from the ceiling with screens on every side wasn’t sucked up in to the ceiling (nor were the screens used to show a close up view of the stage!) so a lot of people had blocked views. Lame! The concerts that are shown in Ireland though, wow! This one has the main floor of the theatre set up with tables and groups of 4 people are at each table, and one year they performed outside, on a stage in front of a castle! A freakin castle! I think the atmosphere created by such amazing venues would take the show up to that next level, and considering how high of a level they were at when they played here in the hockey arena that’s pretty impressive lol

This first video is all instrumental but the violinist is spectacular! This is one of her tame performances, normally she is leaping all over the stage!

This next video is one of the original ladies of the ensemble. I’m not a religious person but that doesn’t stop this song from being one of my favourite Christmas songs. Most songs are performed by 3-4 women, depending on the season, this just happened to be done solo.

But yeah, so having some trouble concentrating on my writing because I keep looking up at the tv lol

I have some happy happy news! 😀 I was searching for something to wear to work today, all my normal work pants were still damp (I hang my clothes to dry and they hadn’t quite finished drying, the slow pokes! lol) and while digging in my closet I found a pair of pants I put in there months and months ago cause they had gotten too snug. They were doing that thing where they were uncomfie cause (1) I knew they didn’t look good because they no longer fit properly and (2) they were actually physically uncomfie because they didn’t fit. I had half convinced myself I had shrunk them in the wash but instead of getting rid of them I tucked them away cause ya never know right? Well, out of sheer desperation I tried them on today and holy hannah! They fit! They not only fit they fit comfortably, and a little loosely. Not so loose they were falling down or anything but it wasn’t like they “just fit”. They were comfie, and not tight, and just…well…just perfect! 😀 Which meeeeeans I must have lost weight! Awesomeness! Now I kinda wish I had weighed myself at the beginning of this challenge, or measured myself or something so I could say “I lost X amount of pounds/inches” but oh well, I’m just happy to know I lost something lol. I have slightly less worries about being able to fit in to the goal pants which fyi, still hanging on my wall waiting for December 22nd. I’m kind of worried though, what if what I’ve been doing isn’t enough? What if I should be pushing more or eating less? What if? What if? What if?…sigh, I’ve gotta stop stressing about this, I’m doing what I can and have to trust the process buuuuuuut it’s hard! lol 😛

On a sucky note a friend at work was hit by a car this evening while running across the street to catch her bus. 😦 And because I am self-involved and apparently turn everything in to me-me-me I would really like to ask the Universe to stop having bad shit happen on my shifts at work! If I was keeping score, which I may or may not be doing, in the past month I have had 3 falls, 1 death and now a friend hit by a car. *insert scream of frustration here* Luckily I got a phone call from the hospital before my shift ended and it looks like she is going to be fine, she’s still in the process of getting tests but the signs were all good. Phew!

Last night was supposed to be the second part of the German Christmas Market but weather was crap and the three of us decided we’d rather stay in and have a girls night then go to the market and freeze/drown. We all agreed on getting take out and meeting at KS’s place. Luckily I have very UN-judgmental friends and they didn’t make fun of me when my “take out” was a salad and piece of tilapia that I made at home and brought with me lol I figured if I made my own dinner and took it with me I’d know exactly what I was eating nutrition wise aaaaand I’d save money. Win-win! 😀 I might as well confess that I had an itty bitty piece of cake, it was KS’s birthday recently and she had left over cake, it was chocolate orange flavour, Mmm!

I think I have found, well, almost found, a decent balance of following the eating plan and allowing myself to have little treats here and there. I didn’t feel guilty about eating a tiny bit of cake because I’d been eating really well all week and have my food tracker to prove it! I think I’ll use the Lose It! app for the forseeable future, it prevents me from tricking myself in to thinking I ate healthier than I really had which is important because I find when it comes to weight loss the easiest person to lie to is yourself.

Since I am writing about all kinds of things I will share with you a picture of the boots I am currently lusting over, man oh man do I want these boots buuuut not gonna buy em! Why? Well, cause even on sale I can’t afford them (boo!) but that doesn’t stop me from looking at the picture of them and wishing lol

Aren't they so pretty? And warm looking!

Aren’t they so pretty? And warm looking!

Seems like my brain is all over the place today lol hence a sort of “round up” of all kinds of different things I wanted to share with you.

The cat and I wish you all a great evening! 🙂

Nighty night!

Nighty night!

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German Christmas Market Part 1

11 Dec

Any outing that involves hot apple cider is a good outing. Crap! I just remembered I didn’t put that in my food tracker, gimme a sec…

Ok, added, all is well lol 😛

So back to the German Christmas Market…

Don’t go thinking I flew to Germany lol it is an annual thing that is held in the downtown core. This is my third year going and I love it. It is a simple little market but something about it makes me smile. There is a carousel (which I may have kinda forgot to take a picture of, oops!), booths filled with various foods and drinks and even more booths filled with all kinds of things to buy. Almost all the items for sale (food and non food) are imported from Germany or made here but German inspired. Well…except for the booth with the maple foods, which omg yum! I love love love maple flavoured anything! 😀 They have maple toffee that is delish! I bought it last year and fully anticipated buying it again this year but alas, it does not fit in to my eating plan (plus I have no idea how to get nutritional information for it, yeah I know I can google but not like I can weigh out the toffee so I know how much I ate, sigh).

I can’t show you, or tell you, what I bought at the market cause most of the items are Christmas presents and the people receiving them may read this blog so hush! lol One thing I bought for myself was tea, yeah I know, I’m so exciting right? But remember how I am trying to expand my tea collection?

I bought Silent Night Tea which is a “winterly selection of our finest tea blends”, there are four flavours in the box, Winter Delight which is a green tea, Stars which is a black tea, Sun Of The Spirit which is a white tea and Bright Light which is a lemon balm – whatever that means! lol The only tea that doesn’t contain caffeine is the Bright Light (the lemon balm flavour) so I am still failing at expanding my non-caffeinated tea collection – I didn’t even think to read the box or ask the guy working the booth if the tea contained caffeine, arg, I suck at shopping for non-caffeinated tea! lol Later, at a tea store I found loose leaf maple tea which seems like the best idea ever! But I didn’t buy it cause it is loose leaf and I don’t have one of those metal ball thingies to put loose leaf tea in, all my tea is in tea bags lol

My Silent Night Tea

My Silent Night Tea

I wore a ridiculous amount of layers to go to the market, I get cold super duper easy and was mildly terrified of being so cold I wouldn’t be having fun soooooo I wore a tank top, then a long sleeved shirt, then a plaid button up shirt, then a hoodie, then a jacket…count that, minus the coat that is 4 layers! FOUR! All that effort to stay warm, which fyi I so did, but my feet froze, sigh. I have the worst luck when it comes to keeping my feet warm, probably because I don’t own warm shoes lol I own boots, leather and man made but none of them are designed for warmth, they are designed for looks so they are useless at keeping my feet warm. I decided to wear a pair of Keds (sneakers) thinking maybe the canvas fabric would be better at retaining heat in the foot area and also because those particular shoes fit loosley enough I can wear thicker socks with them lol. I was horrifically wrong and my toes were in that pain/numb/frozen state for quite a while, you know, that stage where it hurts to walk because you can’t put pressure on your toes, that stage. Ugh. I’ve been mildly lusting after a pair of Uggs (or a fake pair cause really? that much money on boots? lame!) for those rare times when I need warm boots. I have an old pair that are kind of like fake Uggs but nicer lol thing is they are so old they are way unattractive and the only time I wear them is when I am going to work on my early morning days and want my feet to stay cozy while I am en route to work. Obviously once I get there I switch to cute but completely not designed for winter shoes lol. In case you haven’t figured it out I am not always practical *rolls eyes*

I am actually really tempted to go shopping tomorrow during the day and buy a pair of warm boots because I am going back to the market tomorrow night with a couple friends. The market. The outdoor market. At night. In winter. On a day we are predicted to get snow. With feet in shoes not designed for warmth. I am gonna cry like a little girl. sigh. I can almost justify them because I could wear them when I go home for Christmas, back to Alberta, the land of deep snow and cold weather. My feet may not survive lol

Oh! I finally got some software so I can black out my face in pics which means I can finally post a pic of myself when I am out doing something, yay for remembering to get the software! lol So here ya go, me with a nutcracker, finally a guy taller than me! 😉

 

The oh so handsome Nutcracker and I

The oh so handsome Nutcracker and I

Aaaaaand here is a pic of downtown from across the water, isn’t it so purdy?

the guay

My picture doesn't do the view justice

My picture doesn’t do the view justice

Part 2 of the German Market post will come tomorrow night after I have gone for the second time this year with my friends. I figure I’ll have better pics cause everything will be all lit up and pretty and my hands won’t be filled with bags because I did my shopping today lol. 🙂 …although I am gonna get another apple cider, Mmm!

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Forgotten Food Prep

7 Dec

I thought I was doing oh so well, I cooked chicken in advance so I would have meals for Friday and Saturday at work, I have all my stuff to make salads in my fridge, lots of frozen veggies in my freezer and yet…sigh, I forgot about Sunday and Monday! Ack! lol

Which means this evening when I got home from work I immediately went to the kitchen and started cooking, not how I generally like to spend my nights when I get off work! I didn’t have too too much to do, mostly cause I cheated lol but I still wish I’d remembered earlier in the day and gotten it taken care of before I went to work.

I hard boiled some eggs and cooked some turkey bacon and should have cooked some chicken or fish but that is where the cheating came in 😉

I was too busy to eat dinner at work this evening so I opted for leaving my chicken and vegg in the fridge at work and use it for lunch tomorrow. I will take a salad to put the chicken and vegg on top of and have a super tasty lunch. Is it sad that I like home made salads so much? I feel it might be…

Anyways!

The eggs are sitting in cold water, the turkey bacon is cooling so I can put it in Tupperware and soon it will all be in the fridge, placed beside the containers with my salad and dressing and I will be hightailing it to bed, somewhere I should have been a while ago but I’ve been dealing with computer stuff (upgrades an stuff, boring but necessary, shrug)

There were Girl Guides visiting at work today, caroling and visiting with the residents, they brought cookies to share and man were they tempting! They left extra boxes that anyone could take and I was thisssssss-close to plucking a box from the bag and bringing it home. I could practically envision myself sitting and mindlessly eating cookies while watching tv or doing stuff on the computer or whatever. I don’t even particularly like Girl Guide cookies, but they were still super tempting. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really know how I managed to avoid taking a box and gorging on them…except that even while I could envision myself eating them I also couldn’t envision myself eating them…I know that doesn’t make sense but that’s the only way I can think of to say it…

I have my goal, and I so want to reach it! I couldn’t envision myself eating the cookies because then I’d feel horrible about myself for days for taking three steps back when I’d been doing so well going forward. Which means if I brought them home I’d have put them in my pantry, not eaten them and ended up throwing them out in a month when I wanted to clear the space and if I did that I’d just be annoyed with myself. Seemed easier to save myself the trouble. 😛

Mmm! Cookie! I like the vanilla ones best!

Mmm! Cookie! I like the vanilla ones best!

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Nowhere Near Wordless Wednesday

4 Dec

Alrighty, so we all know I suck at Wordless Wednesdays, I never get enough pictures, I never remember to post on the Wednesday so I can use what pictures I managed to take, it’s just not my strong suit lol But I’m going to give it another go…

Breakfast and Lunch from Starbucks

Breakfast and Lunch from Starbucks

Nutritional info from the Protein Bistro Box from Starbucks

Nutritional info from the Protein Bistro Box from Starbucks

Breakfast and lunch today were from Starbucks, I don’t recommend this lol. I grabbed the Protein Bistro Box, along with a Grande Soy Chai Latte and while the drink is tasty, and the food alright, it wasn’t as good a breakfast as my normal egg, two slices of turkey bacon, apple and cup of tea, shrug.

In my Bistro Box I had: 1 hard boiled egg, 3 slices of apple, 9 seedless grapes, 1 slice of white cheddar cheese, 1 piece of bread with fruit in it (raisins) and 1 packet of peanut butter. I did not eat the bread or the peanut butter (even though I desperately wanted the peanut butter because I miss peanut butter!) I shouldn’t have eaten the cheese either, what with it being dairy and I’m supposed to be non-dairy right now buuuuut I kinda forgot, lol, I’m not even lying, I was eating, knew I wasn’t going to eat the bread or peanut butter but didn’t even clue in about the cheese, oops! And yes, sometimes I am just that dumb 😛

Knitting and I...oh dear...

Knitting and I…oh dear…

 

A little farther along....

A little farther along….

 

 

Ok, granted my attempt at knitting looks pathetic so far but hey! I’m just learning (my little sister is teaching me 🙂 ) and she is uber patient with me which is good as I kinda suck lol I’m actually farther along then that second pic shows I just didn’t take another picture of it yet

Ahhhhh, steeped tea, Mmm!

Ahhhhh, steeped tea, Mmm!

My Timmy’s steeped tea – this is what got me through the knitting lesson! 😛

What I ordered for dinner, it says right there it is "very healthy"!

What I ordered for dinner, it says right there it is “very healthy”!

 

What my dinner actually looked like

What my dinner looked like

 

I had a dragon boat team meeting that was held at a Japanese Restaurant. We go there often and usually I order sushi but it is cold out tonight and I wanted something warm. I was also trying to find something I’d be able to calculate the nutritional information for afterwards lol According to the sign the Chicken Mizutaki is “very healthy foods” and the list of ingredients sure sounds healthy so I figured why not? Lemme tell ya, healthy? Maybe. Tasty? Nope! Most bland meal ever! It was a clear, tasteless broth, with noodles, tofu, chicken, one slice of carrot and a bunch of cabbage in it. Oh, and one shitaki mushroom, that’s the dark spot in the pic in the left side of the bowl. I was planning on avoiding as much of the noodles as possible but I was super hungry, the meal was super not filling and I ended up eating noodles because the alternate was eating a pathetic amount of vegg, some tofu and some chicken. sigh. I checked nutritional information for this dish once I got home, I found information for a version of it that actually had more variety of vegg in the dish so I know the info isn’t quite accurate but it is the best I’ve got. All in all, not horrible calorie wise but I wouldn’t order it again. Just because something is healthy doesn’t mean it has to be tasteless! I’d rather something with flavour next time thank-you-very-much. 🙂

A new tea for my "collection"

A new tea for my “collection”

 

I am venturing in to the world of flavoured tea. My outlook on tea is this, flavoured tea is not tea, it is a flavoured hot drink, but not tea. Tea is tea. The end. However, I am trying to branch out and this is what I bought. I chose this because I already know I like chai and, well, that’s pretty much the only reason. lol I’m fairly certain there is no caffeine in this tea but I could be wrong, maybe I should google before I go any further…

…alright, so I just googled and I am wrong, crap. My chai tea does have caffeine, sigh. The whole reason I am trying flavoured teas is due to my inability to go to sleep like a normal person. I drink Tetley tea like it is going out of style! I love my cuppa Tetley. 🙂 I have it as my first drink of the day to wake me up, my last drink of the day to calm me down and multiple times throughout the day just because. My theory was swap out my last cup of the day with a non-caffeinated tea and maybe that would help me get to sleep easier…it’s worth a shot at least! I’ve already had a cup of the chai tea this evening and it tasted good, not as good as Teltey, and not as good as a Chai Latte (massive weakness of mine!) but good. Even though it turns out it does have caffeine so it won’t work as part of my new found plan it won’t go to waste, I like it enough I’ll keep drinking it, though I miiiiight not replace it once it is gone, we shall see!

Well, that is the end of my pictures so I guess that means it is the end of my post! lol 🙂

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I Made A Boo-Boo

3 Dec

It is totally NOT what you think! 😛 lol

I’m doing my “Lose A Pant Size By Dec 22/13” challenge, click Here to read about it, or just scroll to the top of the page and hit the Page named Nov 12/13-Dec 22/13 Challenge if you don’t know what I am yapping about.

In a nutshell, I am following a super strict eating plan (and exercising, duh lol) in an attempt to lose a pant size by Dec 22/13. I won’t go in to all the details about why etc cause I’d just be repeating what is written on the actual challenge page…just know that it is for vanity’s sake lol and it is reeeeally strict! Worth it, but strict.

Well, today I made plans to go see a movie with a friend. I was so proud, I purposefully suggested the later movie time so I would have no excuse to not exercise. No way I could run out of time in my day if I wasn’t meeting him until 8:45pm right? Right! 🙂

Thing is, I kiiiinda ran out of time, not to exercise! I went to Zumba! But to eat…oops? *cringe face* Don’t judge! It wasn’t on purpose!

I bet Cookie Monster never forgot to eat...

I bet Cookie Monster never forgot to eat…

I had a late brekkie (cause I slept in lol) then did stuff around the apartment for a while, went to Zumba, came home, made a protein shake, showered, groomed and went out. Somewhere in there I swear I intended to eat dinner, ya know, after Zumba but before going out buuuuuut it didn’t happen…

The boo-boo, if you hadn’t guessed, was that I was ridiculously under my calories for the day, especially when you factor in how many I burned while exercising. I’m already eating a small-ish amount of calories daily (1010 to be exact) but I dropped down to a number distressingly smaller than that, sigh.

So now I’m sitting here, typing away at 3 am, though the time stamp on the post won’t show that cause I always alter them before I publish a post lol, hungry, though not as hungry as I expected to be, but knowing I am not going to eat anything because I am about to go to bed. Poor tummy, it must think I hate it…

Oh, in case you were wondering, what did I do that filled in the time I should have spent cooking then eating my dinner, it was my nails. That’s right! I was doing my nails, lost track of time, then realized I didn’t have time to cook anything anymore. Some days I am such a girl lol 😛

I’m going to tell you my calories for the day, are you sitting down? Take a deep breath and try not to think too badly of me ok? I ate 506 calories, I burned 361 calories, which leaves me with a net calorie amount of…144…*braces for accusing glares and lectures*

I didn’t mean to! Honest! If I wan gonna purposefully starve myself do you think I’d be admitting it on here?! *rolls eyes*

I just know I’m gonna wake up hungry tomorrow, sigh, which will suck. Plus, all day tomorrow I will have a thought in my head that goes something like this “sure, I shouldn’t eat that, but I ate so little yesterday surely today I can splurge a little?” Horrible! It will be a horrible tempting thought that I will have to resist so as not to screw up but in the opposite direction of the way I screwed up today. Oy! lol

On that note I am going to go to bed since I have to be up early-ish, I will probably dream about food since right now, that’s pretty much all I am thinking about lol Pancakes to be specific, I am really wanting pancakes right now, which is ridiculous cause I couldn’t eat those even if I was going to eat something…maybe I’ll have them for my birthday breakfast…hmm, something to think about and possibly look forward to! lol

 

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Stuff To Share

28 Nov

Alrighty, so I skipped writing a post yesterday and now I feel I have too much stuff to share and not enough time to type…that and I’m sure I’d lose all my readers before they got through such a long post lol I thought I’d try writing it all in bullet form, see how that goes, shall we give it a go? 🙂

  • I picked up my new headshots today! Yay! The levels of excitement I have over this are through the roof! They turned out great – I always feel like I’m being narcissistic when I say that lol I don’t mean they are great because of me but because of the border and the font for my name and the overall look of the thing. I want to share them with you but I don’t have photo shop so I can’t black out my name along the bottom and while I might be leaning to the side of “it’s ok to share pics of me on this blog now” I don’t want to give you my full name…no offence but I think we still need a bit of space between you an I, don’t you? 😉
  • When I was picking up the headshots I was driving through the sketchy part of downtown and saw a homeless guy sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against a building, surfing on his laptop. For some reason this made me really curious about what he was doing, updating his facebook status? Tweeting the random stuff he sees? Looking for an online sale? Job hunting?
  • Two days in a row I made sure to go to Zumba, yay me! I resisted my natural inclination to be lazy and exercised. I’m really enjoying Zumba, I get all sweaty and gross but have lots of fun while doing it. I have trouble thinking of Zumba as real exercise because of how much fun it is. Don’t take this to mean I look good while doing it! Oh heavens no! But hey, most of us look ridiculous to some degree so I figure that’s ok. 🙂
if I keep doing Zuma do I get to look like this? Pleeeeease?

if I keep doing Zuma do I get to look like this? Pleeeeease?

  • I have been searching for a replacement piece for one of my cat’s toys for almost a week, finally got it which means the cat has stopped giving me looks of death every time he tries to use his toy and can’t lol Oh, and because I can’t resist buying the little furball stuff I bought him a soft catnip filled toy in the shape of a pig. Cutest. Thing. Ever!! For those of you who don’t know I heart pigs and seeing my cat scoop a little pig in to his mouth then walk purposefully away so he can have privacy while he plays with it was freakin adorable!
  • Another cat story, last night the cat clawed me in juuuuust the wrong way, ouch! His claw sliced through where my thumbnail connects to the skin of my thumb, along the side of the nail. He got quite deep and it bled for ages. Now it hurts to do pretty much everything and I am still muttering under my breath about getting a dog (in an attempt to put him in his place). He is of course acting super extra over the top cute (not a hard thing for him) and knows that I will forgive him soon…he probably also knows he doesn’t have to fear a dog being brought in here since he is obviously in charge, sigh, I’m so whipped 😛
I swear it is a lot worse then it looks in this pic and I'm not just a big baby lol

I swear it is a lot worse then it looks in this pic and I’m not just a big baby lol

  • I watched an interesting documentary this evening called Xmas Without China. About how people in the States are so anti-China and anti products being imported from China but could not survive without them. A family got rid of all items in their house for the month of December that were Made In China and were not allowed to buy anything that was Made In China. Lemme tell ya, their place looked bleak once everything was taken away. Even their dishes were gone! It gave them a new perspective on just how much they rely on other countries (specifically China) to survive and how they as a country don’t really produce anything and the guy who came up with the project learned to be a bit less biased towards the States (probably a good thing since he moved there when he was 8 from China and is now at least mid-twenties).
  • I have lost the ability to sleep at night, ugh. I am going to bed later and later and even once I am in bed I don’t fall asleep, I just lie there, for ages. That’d be fine if I wasn’t about to start my work week, meaning I will have to actually get up at a decent time instead of sleep the day away. I’m not sleeping any longer than anyone else (on average) I’m just sleeping 4am-noon instead of 11pm-7am.
  • I’m really sick of the ads for Black Friday. Even though this weekend is not our Thanksgiving the stores up here give all the same Black Friday sales as you would get if you were in the States so there is a constant bombardment of ads via email, tv, billboards, radio, websites and any other way you can imagine telling us to shop! shop! shop! It’s not that I don’t like shopping but having a holiday that is supposed to be about families getting together, spending time with each other and thinking about what you are thankful for being oh-so-over-board commercialized is making me mildly disgusted with the whole thing. I don’t remember it being this bad last year, was it this bad last year? Also, I keep hearing that stores in the States are opening on Thanksgiving? Seriously? People don’t get a day to just chill with their families without feeling like they are missing all the best deals? Oy! I’d be pissed if I normally got it off but now had to work it because some corporate suit decided the store should open so he/she gets their yearly bonus *rolls eyes*
  • I bought mandarin oranges, Mmm! A sure sign of it being the Christmas Season! It’s ridiculous, no way can one person eat an entire box but I’ll do my best and then share the rest. 🙂
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

And that is it for now! 🙂 I’ll type you all later!

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Do Taste Buds Change?

26 Nov

Ok, I already know that they do, but still I pose the question to you, do they change? Like, for real? And if so, how much? And why? And will they go back? Is it just they get used to things, or trained, and when you change what they are exposed to they adapt therefore making what you used to eat seem unpalatable?

This is a serious concern of mine. It may seem like a stupid concern but it matters to me.

Here is the situation:

I have a sweet tooth, more like a mouth full of sweet teeth lol I like sweets. I looooove pastries! But dessert type things are my favourite, all the time, anytime of day. I will gladly give up all food for a day if it means I can eat a doughnut, or cinnamon bun, or lemon tart, or slice of pie, or or or…basically any dessert.

I have never been that person who is all “I’m scraping the frosting off my piece of cake because it is too sweet” or “I’m not buying a cinnamon bun because there is too much cream cheese icing on it” or “oh wow, isn’t this so sugary?! I can’t eat it” I have never understood when people say stuff like that. Too sugary? Too sweet?? Too much frosting???? Are you from another planet? There can never be too much! The whole reason I always want the corner piece from a cake is because there is more frosting! I pick the cinnamon bun with the most icing. I want the sugar! It’s dessert for heavens sake, it is supposed to be sweet! What is wrong with your tastebuds??

Well tonight, the most distressing thing happened with my tastebuds, I ate and drank two different things and both were gross because…they were too sweet. What?! Oh my gawd did I just say that?! I feel like I need to change my identity and move to another country because I have just written the unspeakable. *ducks head in shame*

I stopped at a Starbucks. Bad idea right there. Now, my fave drink is a chai latte but I thought I’d branch out. Why would I branch out? Because I love pumpkin. What? You mean writing that didn’t immediately fill in the blanks? Weird… 😉 I love pumpkin, it is fall, this means pumpkin flavour stuff is still everywhere, Mmm! I have never ever ordered a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks because, brace for this, I don’t drink coffee, in any form. Ick. I had heard though, if I want the pumpkin flavour get steamed milk with the pumpkin flavouring and I can get my pumpkin sans coffee. Brilliant! Since I got told that I haven’t been in a Starbucks so I thought why not try tonight? So that dear internet is what I ordered *looks around guiltily* crap! fine! I won’t lie to you…that isn’t all I ordered…I also got a chocolate chip cookie *gasp* I know! I know! Horrible! Bad! Stupid move! I have berated myself over it quite enough so rest assured I feel poorly about my well, poor decision, and will work hard to do better in the future. Does that sound apologetic enough? Yeah, I think so. 😉

That steamed pumpkin drink was the most disgusting thing ever! I had it made with soy but it wasn’t the soy that was nasty. It was the pumpkin flavour, it was hideously sweet, as in, I managed 4 tiny sips and called it quits it was that undrinkable. Not only did I not love something pumpkin flavour I also thought something was too sweet! This is unheard of in my world!

This is the dreaded cookie.

This is the dreaded cookie.

The cookie was slightly better. It was a soft chocolate chip cookie that I still can’t figure out why I ordered, the words “I’ll also have a chocolate chip cookie please” just slipped out of my mouth easy-as-you-please and before I could somehow retract them without looking the fool the cookie was in a bag and in my purse. In. My. Purse. Like I had to hide the evidence I bought a cookie. Oh wait, I did. *rolls eyes* I ate it while sitting in my suv in the parkade cause apparently I am in to eating secretly in my vehicle now. Maybe if I eat in my suv the calories don’t count? 😉 The first bite was good, not great, but not horrible. The more I ate though the more I didn’t like it. The chocolate was in too big of chunks, the sweetness level was hurting my teeth (hey, I have sensitive teeth, don’t judge!) but not only that it was almost immediately making my tummy feel not well. Didn’t stop me from eating it though…really wish it had. I know I’ll never be ordering it again because of how icky it made me feel. It was just too sweet. It left me feeling sickly, like I’d eaten a whole bag of halloween candy or something, my stomach hurt, I felt nauseous, it was just not a good experience at all.

I have never eaten something and been all, “nope, it’s too sweet” but that cookie? That cookie was too sweet. And so was the pumpkin drink.

Which brings me back to my question, can tastebuds change? And by how much?

Is this “oh ick stuff is too sweet” thing a phase? Is it only because I’ve been eating such small amounts of sugar, and for the most part what sugar I have been eating is what is naturally occurring in fruit, that my tastebuds (and my tummy) are become not as used to sugar as they once were and are therefore having trouble dealing with it? How sad would that be? *pout*

Could it be *gasp* part of growing up? That is a scary thought!

Could it be a one off and nothing to worry about?

I don’t know.

I do know my tastebuds have changed in the past. I used to hate asparagus, now it is one of my fave veggies. I used to hate all dried fruits, now I like dried cranberries (great salad topper!). I used to love then I hated then I loved again baked beans. So over the years I know my tastes have changed for various foods but never have they changed in regards to how sweet/salty/savoury I like or dislike my foods to be.

I don’t want to stop liking sweet things, like cookies and cakes and pie and pastries and just in general all the wonderous desserts out there. I think that would be sad. Might make losing weight easier though…but it’d still be sad!

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Week 2 Done!

25 Nov

Yesterday was the end of Week 2 of my Lose a Pant Size By Dec 22/13 challenge! To read day-to-day deets about the challenge click Here! I had a rocky start to the beginning of week 2, what with the whole pizza fiasco on the Monday but I worked hard to not mess up the rest of the days and even with snacking at the fundraiser and eating a steak dinner last night I ended up under my calories for the week. Yay!! 🙂

I know I shouldn’t be under calories for the week but since I started the week by doubling my calories for that day I am glad I managed to reverse that damage. Of course, I have 3 pieces of pizza individually wrapped and in the freezer that I have no idea what to do with but that’s a problem for another day…Granted, almost was a problem today buuuuuut I’m so determined to not have red on my bar graph for this week that I managed to not cave lol.

Looks like if my willpower starts to fail me I can rely on my not wanting to confess to you I screwed up and that’ll keep me in line! Let me tell ya, that is all that is keeping me in line right now as I reeeeally want to eat something! I know vaguely what I want to eat but at this point I’d jump face first into any number of different foods lol Classy huh? 😛

This eating plan is strict, and leaves me feeling not hungry but not full, I’m in some weird middle ground. I mean obviously leading up to meal time I feel hungry but after eating a meal I feel…I dunno, not full or satisfied but not hungry anymore…maybe this is how I am supposed to feel? Always wanting a little bit more but not eating that little bit more cause that’ll take me over the line to having eaten too much?

It sucks. But sacrifices right? Right!

Small sacrifices today to reach the goals of tomorrow! wOOt!

I’m glad I’ve got my eating under control (for today at least) since I kinda slept through my Zumba class, oops! In my defence I was running on 3 hours sleep. When I got home from work I thought it was a good idea to take a short nap and go to the slightly later Zumba class. I didn’t intend to sleep for so long! By the time I woke up all the classes were over, oh dear. Stupid 2 hour nap, sigh.

The nap did feel good though 🙂

determination-large-msg-135986263557

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